


The dragon and the rose

by LadySalvatore



Category: Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Arranged Marriage, F/M, Hate to Love, Herny Tudor and Elizabeth of york AU, Jon is a Targaryen, Not Related, might be more in the future, two part story
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-09-13
Updated: 2018-10-08
Packaged: 2018-12-27 17:01:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 17
Words: 34,482
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12085389
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LadySalvatore/pseuds/LadySalvatore
Summary: She was to marry him because it was her duty but that didn’t mean she was submitting to him. The usurper took the throne that belonged to her brother but Sansa was to make sure her family would be the winner in the end.Sansa and Jon inspired by Henry Tudor and Elizabeth of york for the tumblr remix





	1. The english rose

**Author's Note:**

> I went a little crazy over the remix and this is my final entry, on the day of historical couples I bring you a Herny Tudor and Elizabeth York.  
> Hope you enjoy!

Sansa sat on the ledge of the window on her mother’s chambers and looked down below to the green courtyard extending before her. There was no doubt that her lady mother had a privileged view in the kingdom, of course nothing less could be expected of the downer queen, a tittle her mother had gotten back just recently.

With a sigh Sansa let her head fall against the cold stone wall as her eyes absorbed the beauty in front of her with a sense of nostalgia. Not long ago she dreamed of venturing outside again, weary and restless of being locked down for too long and now while technically she was free to roam the world again she felt even more trapped than before.

But things hadn’t always been this sad for the young woman. Until a year ago Sansa had been a happy princess, her laughter had been carefree and she had spent a lot of time jesting and playing with her siblings. Sansa Stark was the daughter of Eddard Stark, first of his name and King of the vast lands of England. Her father had been adored by both townsfolk and nobles, he had gained his throne with a lot of bloodshed Sansa was sure but his reign had been a quiet peaceful one.

Before the dark times arrived Sansa had been betrothed to the prince of France Joffrey Baratheon, a marriage that would gain her father many alliances and that would favor the reign of her older brother Robb, once it was his time to rule. Sansa had been grateful for this arrangement since it meant she would have the chance of helping her family but a part of her also resented it because her heart belonged only to Harrold Stone, bastard half-brother of her cousin Robbin, Lord of the Vale but since a marriage with him would bring no benefit for her family she never had dared to utter those words to no one but her dear friend Margaery.

Sansa had accepted a long time ago that she would never marry for love but she also didn’t expect to marry a usurper.

When Sansa’s father got ill with consumption all hopes of the Kingdom had fallen into the hands of her twenty year old brother Robb, he had been trained since his birth to be a King and everyone knew he would do a wonderful work. Yet the pain of losing their King had set the realm in a very dark period, the fierce and wild Eddard Stark had died on the bed of his chambers surrounded by his family but before his body could get cold on the ground, Peter Baelish, the man whom they believed to be their allied had rebelled against the crown and her brother Robb had died fighting him.

Sansa still couldn’t think of that time without wanting to break down in tears, so much had been taken away from them in a matter of days. Her mother, her little sister and her had been forced to go into sanctuary so the evilness of that man could reach them and her little brother Bran had been captured an locked in the Tower only to be executed weeks after.

Then Peter I had sat into a throne he had stolen of the hands of a man fool enough to trust him.

His short reign was a bitter one, he was hated by everyone but still believed he could grasp onto the power by committing treacherous acts and executing whoever dared to refute his will. His ruling was based on fear and Sansa had wept many nights imagining everything her father created on the ground.

But his reign of terror wasn’t going to last.

Jon Targaryen, who had been living in exile for the last twenty years, finally reached the land of England, with royal blood running through his veins the young man fought for his claim to the throne. Sansa only heard of the horrors of that battle where Jon had gotten the crown, she imagined the body of Peter Baelish bloodied and cold on the ground and although it shamed her to admit it the image was encouraging for her.

Jon of house Targaryen, first of his name had earned the kingdom by conquest. He was England’s rightful king but still known as a usurper since Targaryen blood ran through his veins, the people claimed for Robbin to rise but since Jon’s forces were greater the young Lord of the Vale was forced to flee into hiding to avoid his execution.

 The people were forced to acknowledge Jon as their king despite of themselves, the fear of him was too grater. So a red rose, sigil of his house, had replaced the white rose of her family and could be seen all around the kingdom making spectacle of who their ruler was.

But whispers hadn’t stopped and fearing a rebellion the young man had demanded Sansa’s hand in marriage to appease the people and her mother being the political owl she was agreed to the betrothal knowing it would make her family rise again. Catelyn had explained to Sansa that it was the only way everyone got what they wanted, Jon got the support of his people by marrying the daughter of the King England adored so much and her family gained power at court once again.

So Sansa had been finally able to leave sanctuary, leaving a prison to go into a new one.

Two weeks she had sat in this window every day waiting for the day the king would summon for her, she had yet to know him but whispers of him had already reached her ears. Maids whispered of his beauty, men of his brutality and Sansa who all ever she wanted of life was to marry for love only hoped he was a decent man and not monster like Peter had been.

“Lady Sansa?” The young girl moved her eyes away from the countryside to direct them towards Mya, her young maid who was currently standing at the entrance of her chambers.

“Yes, Mya”

“My lady, the king has called for you”

A sense of dread invaded the young princess as she forced her body to move away from the window. She sucked in a breath and straightened her back as her mother had thought her before following Mya into the hallway.

It was finally time to meet Jon the usurper.

 


	2. The welsh dragon

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes I made Rickon a girl and changed his name, I'm also making Robin a smart boy and not the silly kid he truly is.  
> Thanks a lot for reading this and taking the time to leave a comment, I kind of want to continue with this but I'm not yet sure, we'll see with time.

Her head was held high as she walked the corridors of the castle, the sound of her shoes and the bottom of her dress scraping against the floor resounded in the stone cold walls. A fine rain had started falling in the last minutes and despite still being morning the sky had started darkening.

Sansa stopped in front of the heavily ornamented iron gates that opened to the throne room, a couple of years back her father had been the one sitting in there and now there was no one but a stranger. With a heavy sigh she pushed the door open and walked inside, her spine stiff as she eyed the man sitting in the golden imposing chair.

Sansa had heard many whispers about his ferocity and beauty yet he held no attractiveness for her. He didn’t look at all like Harry who had been sophisticated and elegant; this man was rugged and slightly unhealthy, he was way too thin as she could see for the way his cheeks hollowed yet he had come victorious of the battle so she guessed he was strong, his curly hair was on the longish side and fell across his forehead, his lips looked chapped and his skin had a slight yellowish tone, Sansa guessed that the eyes on exile hadn’t been kind to him and perhaps after a while in the country he would regain some health.

Despite of all his flaws Sansa couldn’t deny that his eyes were captivating, a shade of grey so deep and intense that unsettled her for a second.

And yet she knew Jon Targaryen was no man for her, he appeared to be too wild and she never fancied those kinds of men.

“Lady Sansa” The red haired girl flinched as his voice startled her. It was deep and velvety with a hint of the accent he must have picked up on his years in exile “We finally meet”

Sansa stood before him and curtsey to him before speaking “Indeed we do”

He stared at her for a couple of seconds without speaking, his unsettling gaze trailed over her frame as he was appeasing her, Sansa couldn’t help but feel like cattle being inspected and the thought made the blood boil in her veins “I apologize for delaying our encounter for so long but I’ve been rather occupied with state affairs”

“Of course your grace, I understand” Sansa answered demurely as she eyed the crown resting on his head. She heard that his coronation had been a great affair, with more pomp and circumstances that even Peter Baelish coronation, yet she hadn’t attended for she was still in sanctuary when that happened.

“And here we are now” There was a gleeful tone to his voice and the corners of his lips seemed to tip upwards in a smile, Sansa wondered what he saw when he watched her. The prize? The reward for taking the crown? Or just a fool girl who had no other options but to hand her life to him? Maybe all of the above, for that was exactly what she was.

“You do understand why I must marry you?” Her eyes were fixated on him and she wondered if maybe he had managed to read into her thoughts or if she was as transparent as water.

Her mother had told her earlier that she had to learn to school her features and hide her emotions if she wanted to survive the marriage with the impostor, it seemed to her that she was already failing in that task.

“I do your grace, you must secure your claim” Her words were clipped and it seemed to her that he was amused by her attitude.

He seemed to relax in the throne as he let his stiff back to fall back and started tapping his finger against his leg “I have as much claim to this throne as your dear cousin my lady” Jon was the son of Rhaegar Targaryen, who had been heir to the throne before her father had seized the power  so by all intents and purposes Jon too had claim to the throne of  and he took it back on the battlefield, plus he happened to be son of her aunt Lyanna, meaning he also had Stark blood running through his veins “But as many people here still seem to be loyal to your late father, I must put the masses at ease and what better than to marry the Stark princess?”

Jon stood up then, his movements were gracious and measured as he walked down the pair of stairs until he was at her same level “I do not wish for us to battle in our marriage as well Sansa, I am well aware this isn’t a union for love” His hand rose and the air and she willed herself not to step back when his fingers were placed underneath her chin “But at least I hope to have a loyal wife, give me your word that you will always be on my side?”

He must knew he was completely insane for asking something like that out of her, her who wanted to see her family on the throne instead of him, her who would be loyal to her family no matter what “Your word Sansa. You know you need this marriage as much as I do”

Her cheeks burned with shame and she hated him for making her feel that way but he was indeed right. Without him her mother wouldn’t have gotten the tittle Lord Baelish took away back, they would still be hiding in sanctuary and would be nothing but bastards with no one to rely on.

So yes, she needed this union as much as he did for without her she and her family would lose everything. “I promise you. I will be on your side always” She wondered if he could detect the lie on her words, he appeased her for a second as his hands gripped her chin before he released her and stepped back.

“I will have your ladies sent to you at the end of the day” He informed and she could do nothing but to nod in response “Your belongings will be moved at the adjacent rooms to mine, the queen’s chamber, where you will be staying after we are wed” He climbed the steps back to the throne and sat nonchalantly.

“And when will that be?” She asked, the more time passed and he didn’t appear to set a date her mother’s worries grew which meant hers as well.

“Two weeks time. My aunt is already making the arrangements” Sansa almost sighed in relief and then grew weary at the look he was giving her “However there still no defined date for your coronation so it seems you might have to wait for it” She stared dumbstruck at him as she absorbed his words. Without her coronation she would be only the King’s wife, not the Queen of England, the goal her mother had been working towards. 

“May I take my leave now your grace?” She asked, anxious to get away from the man who had managed to unnerved more in a few minutes than anyone before.

“You may Lady Sansa” He said with a dismissive gesture of his hand that only served to anger the young woman more. She nodded and curtsey once more before walking back towards the great Iron Gate, back stiff and head held high.

* * *

With barely contained rage Sansa burst into her mother’s chambers were the elder woman was busy braiding her little sister’s hair. Margaret was barely six years old and still oblivious to everything happening around them.

“He is the most conceited and abhorrent man I’ve ever met” She spat as she closed the door behind her and faced her mother who chuckled from the bed where she was currently with her youngest daughter.

“I’m glad to know he caused an impression on you”

“How could you betroth me to someone like that mother?” Sansa asked in despair as she walked towards the bed where her mother was “I am going to be so unhappy”

“Do you think we have a choice my dear?” Her mother spoke softly as she tied the soft red hair of her child “If we want to survive this is the only way”

Sansa sighed as she let herself fall in the bed; Jon’s words swirled in her head reminded her that her mother was right; she needed this marriage as much as he did. It didn’t matter that he was usurping the throne that belonged to her brother or that her heart already belonged to another man. As a princess Sansa always knew that her life was going to be devoted to duty and this was the duty she had to fulfill.

“You need to be very careful Sansa” Her mother whispered as she placed a kiss on Margaret’s head and ordered her to go play by the window “We need to find a way to turn this marriage to our ultimate advantage”

“Advantage? He won’t even crown me!” She said in outrage; her mother placed her fingers against her lips signaling that she was supposed to be quiet; they were on Targaryen territory now, they would have to play their cards at perfection.

“Not for now but give him time” She said calmly, still talking in a hushed tone “I know you can find ways to make him submit to you” The eyes of her mother twinkled and Sansa felt a blush rise to her face at the implication of her words.

“Mother I don’t think-“

“Believe me when I tell you this child, make that man fall in love with you and we will have your cousin on the throne” Her words were clipped and a rosy tint appeared on her cheeks at the excitement of it.

“What do you mean?” Sansa asked with a frown “Do you know where Robin is?”

The half-smile on her mother’s lips confirmed her what she suspected as she felt her heart easing with the thought of her dear cousin being safe and sound “We will rise again Sansa. Your cousin will seize the throne and you’ll be free to marry whomever you like”

“You don’t mean?”

“I mean exactly what I say Sansa” Catelyn squeezed her daughter’s hand with a smile “You just have to hold on to a bit, get into that man’s heart and help us restore your family in the power”

Sansa nodded absently as her mother stood up and headed to the window where her sister still played oblivious to it all “And don’t trust your handmaidens, they are Targaryen supporters. The walls have ears in here my darling”

The young girl lay down on the bed as her mother played with her little sister, his head kept going to her mother’s words and what they meant. She wanted nothing more than to have her brother next to her again and for him to be King. She wanted to be free to marry the man she loved.

And yet her conscience wouldn’t leave her alone, because if her brother rose to power it would mean Jon would have to die, bloodied and bruised to be paraded on the streets. The Targaryen King had given her the legitimacy back and all of her mother’s tittles; he had pulled her from the darkness of Baelish’s reign.

She would give herself to him on the eyes of God only to put a knife on his back later on. Could she do that? Could she risk her own sanity and scruples for the chance of her family rising again?

A heavy knock on the door made Sansa sit up to find her mother opening it up and revealing a tall elegant woman who the young girl knew to be Jon’s aunt.

She was wearing a beautiful ivory silk low cut gown and her silver hair was braided down her back. The woman was truly a vision and no one could deny the extent of her beauty “I’m glad we finally meet Princess Sansa” The woman spoke as the corners of her lips tipped up in an arrogant smile.

“I am glad too your highness” Sansa answered as she curtsey perfectly.

The slightly older woman walked towards her as she regarded her curiously “My nephew wants you to move to your new chambers soon. However I urged him to wait until after the ceremony” Her eyes went towards Catelyn “I am sure you can understand why”

“Of course your highness” Sansa nodded curtly.

Daenerys raised her hand and placed her fingers underneath her chin “I am sure you and I will find a way to cooperate for the good of this realm” Her fingers were gripping her too harshly but she wished not to give her the satisfaction of pulling away. Instead she stood toe to toe with the woman as her eyes pierced through her “I am convinced you will do as best to be a proper Queen, little dove”

“I will your highness”

The woman released Sansa’s face and moved back towards the door but not before stopping and looking over her shoulder at the young woman “Remember Sansa, humble and reverent. That is to be your motto”

With that the Targaryen Princess left the chambers, the minute the doors closed Sansa collapsed into the bed. Her insides burning with rage.

“Just hold on in there dear daughter” Her mother told her “We will have the upper hand soon”

Sansa nodded, conscience be dammed! She refused to spend the rest of her life married into that family.


	3. So it begins

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you like guys. Enjoy!

Sansa was in bed staring at the canopy while her mind wandered towards the late Petyr Baelish, her skin prickled every time she remembered his breath on her neck, his words on her ears “You will be my queen” the voice had said and for a moment she had believed it. She had trembled in fear as he moved closer to her, always too close for her liking but then he had disappeared, slayed under the blade of Jon Targaryen so now she was to be the young man’s queen.

Was that all she was ever going to be? A pawn in the chess game the powerful men played? Born a princess Sansa always knew what her place in the great game will be but she never expected to feel so dirty and devaluated while doing what she was supposed to do.

She was only a girl who wanted to marry for love, who longed for a quiet life in the country with a loving husband and a couple of healthy children. She wanted freedom and happiness and somehow those two things seemed to get further and further away from her, lying here in the soft plush bed somehow she felt more imprisoned than when she was in sanctuary.

In two days she was to become the next Targaryen Queen and the thought filled her body with dread and uncertainty.

“Lady Sansa” A knock on the door and the soft murmur of a girl let her know Mya was on the other side. Sansa took a deep breath and sat down while smoothing out the wrinkles in her emerald dress before ordering the girl in “I’m sorry my lady but the King has requested your presence”

Sansa nodded solemnly to the girl before following her out of the room, she truly liked Mya and had learned to get along with her fine enough but as her mother whispered everyday she was a Targaryen supporter which meant she couldn’t be fully trusted.

The handmaiden took Sansa towards the beautiful glass gardens located in the west side of the palace. They were filled with winter roses and baby’s breath, blooms of lilies and peonies shed a beautiful smell all over the place and made her feel at ease, the gardens had been a gift from her father to her mother and she was glad to know they remained intact after the time Petyr Baelish owned the castle.

Jon was standing in front of the winter roses with his back to her, his fingers barely touching a bloom and she took notice of his filling frame. Only a few days back in England seemed to do wonders for the King since he no longer appeared languid and malnourished “I am glad you were able to join me Lady Sansa” His voice startled her since his back still remained to her but she did the best to hide her emotions from Mya who excused herself and scurried away.

“Of course your grace” She said politely. It wasn’t as if she had more choice but she decided to keep her mouth shut about that. Jon turned around after pickling the rose from the bush.

“I hope you slept well” He said before handing her the flower and Sansa looked down trying to hide the blush currently tainting her cheeks. She wasn’t a girl to shy away so easily but something in his eyes unnerved her, there were so solemn and hard as if somehow he could see inside her and know exactly what she was thinking.

“I did your grace, thank you for your concern” She responded and frowned as she saw the corners of his lips stretching into a smirk “You needed me for something?” She asked feeling irritated; she had the notion that he was somehow mocking her.

He nodded and offered his arm to her “I thought we could talk for a bit. We are to be wedded in two days Lady Sansa. I want to know more about you”

Sansa took the arm he offered and they started walking among the bushes and flowers “Well there isn’t much I can tell you don’t know already your highness. I like to sew and to ride, I like painting and reading and spending time with my sisters”

Jon chuckle “Your sisters… I’ve met Arya, she’s quite the girl” Sansa couldn’t help but smile at the fondness on his tone. Her sister was hard to understand but once you got to know her she was the most amazing person in the world, she was glad to know Jon understood that and not saw her as the wild girl everyone saw.

“Yes, she is”

They remained in silence for a couple of seconds as he guided her towards a small white stone bench placed next to a bush filled with peonies “What kind of stories you like?”

Her cheeks tainted red once more as she looked down “Romantic tales mostly”

“About brave knights and fair maidens?” There was an edge of tease on his voice and she tried to not be offended at his tone “Which ones are your favorites?”

Sansa was reluctant to answer at first but gave up under the pressure of his stare “Jonquil and Florian, The Hedge Knight but my favorite is the story of Naerys and Aemon. Though I also had a chance to read a bit of the Canterbury Tales while I was in convent” When she raised his eyes at him she found him smiling at her.

“I happen to love Naerys and Aemon story as well”

“You do?” Sansa asked surprised

He nodded “I was alone during a long time while I was in exile my Lady, reading is a favorite hobby of mine” For the first time Sansa felt a pang of sadness towards the older man, in a way she guessed he was also a victim. Forced out of his country for fear of her own father ending with his life.

“I am sorry your grace”

He denied with his head “Don’t be” Jon took a deep breath and seemed nervous as to what to say next “I want you to understand Sansa, during my time in exile the only company I had were my Uncle Viserys and Drogo The Rider, the late husband of my aunt” A chuckle left his lips at the mention of the men “Both rugged men therefore I might not be as sophisticated as you expect”

“I wouldn’t-“

A finger to her lips made her remain silent “But I will try my best to be a gentle husband to you my Lady” Sansa’s eyes seemed to focus on the finger that was still pressed to her lips “That said I hope the same treatment in response” His finger moved from her lips so his hand could take her chin between his fingers “So you can tell your mother to stop whatever nonsense she’s been doing”

Sansa let out a shaky breath and tried to pull away from him but he did not allow it to “I will give her a free pass this time but do not abuse of my kindness Sansa” He leaned to her and ghosted his lips over hers before releasing her abruptly and standing up “Choose the right side sweet girl”

With that he walked back towards the castle leaving her breathless and filled with dread.

Hours later Sansa’s head was thrown back as she soaked her body in the tub, the warm water relaxed her muscles and the lavender scent of her oils submerged her in a peaceful state, yet she couldn’t shut down her mind or stop Jon’s words to come back and haunt her.

She wanted nothing more than to see her family back where they belonged. She wanted this family of usurpers out but she wondered if perhaps it wasn’t the wise choice. They all had heard of the power Jon had on the battlefield, no one doubted of his capacity as King and Warrior, could it be that it was better to leave things as they were. Her brothers were dead and now she was to be Queen after all; couldn’t that be enough for her mother? Couldn’t that be enough to keep peace between them all?

As if her mind could conjure her with only thinking about her, Lady Catelyn walked in with her held high and the hint of a smile showing on her lips “I bear good news my child” The woman went to stand in front of her on the tub and handed her a piece of parchment she had previously hidden on the sleeve of her dress.

Sansa gave her a questioning look but accepted what she was offering, when her eyes scanned the words inked on the paper her heart twirled in her chest “He found him” She whispered as she sent a silent prayer to thank God.

Catelyn leaned down so she could whisper close to her “Now that Harrold is with your cousin only good things can come. He’s a great strategist and warrior my girl, together we can do so much!” The older woman’s eyes glinted with happiness and though Sansa was more than glad to know her lover was alive she couldn’t help the reservation she felt earlier from seething into her body again.

“We must be smart about this mother” Sansa said as she crumbled the paper into her hands and handed it back to her mother “Is this wise?”

“Are you doubting our cause Sansa?”

“The King knows” Sansa said quietly as her eyes stared into her mother’s

Catelyn chuckled as she straightened up “Of course he knows Sansa; it’s his duty to know”

“And this doesn’t worry you?”

Catelyn moved so he was behind her and started caressing the hair that was piled at the top of the young girl’s head “Of course not my daughter because I trust you to keep us in the King’s good graces” Sansa felt her cheeks heating up and a hint of resentment towards her mother formed inside her “I’m sure you’ll find ways to please him” The girl felt embarrassment flood her and the temperature rising in the water as she thought about being intimate with the King.

“Mother I don’t think I-“

Mya and Val, another one of her maids, interrupted whatever had been about to leave her mouth when they entered her chambers carrying towels and her sleeping clothes “I’ll see myself out” Catelyn kissed her daughter’s forehead “Sleep well my child”

The girls helped her dry up and dress and once she was ready Val excused herself while Mya remained behind to brush Sansa’s long locks. Sansa couldn’t help but go back to her mother’s words and wonder if she was fit for the task, she didn’t know if she was going to be able to control the King as her mother seemed to think she could.

“Mya can I ask you something” Sansa asked after a couple of minutes of quietness.

“Of course my lady” The young handmaiden said with a small smile as she slide the brush among the soft redhead tresses of the Lady’s head.

“Are you a maid?” The future queen saw the way the young girl’s eyes widened and felt her cheeks heating up with shame “I’m sorry I was improper” She hurried to add.

“Don’t be” Mya said with a chuckle “No I am not, I am in fact a widow my Lady” A shadow of sadness seemed to cloud Mya’s eyes and Sansa felt her heart shrinking at imagining the pain her friend must have been through.

“I’m sorry I did not know” She said softly “Do you wish to marry again?”

Mya seemed to considered this for a while and ended up nodding her head “Someday, to a good man I would like that”

Sansa met the young girl’s eyes in the mirror “When I am Queen I’ll see to it myself” An encouraging smile appeared on the redheads lips “I’ll make a good match for you”

“Thank you my Lady” Mya nodded in gratitude “Now onto your question…”

Sansa seemed to debate whether she wanted to say what was on her mind or not but ended up deciding to trust her new found friend “How is it?”

“How is what?” Mya asked with a frown

Sansa’s eyes looked down embarrassed as her handmaiden brushed the ends of her hair “When you lay with a man”

“Oh” Mya remained quiet for a couple of seconds and a peak at her face let Sansa know she was blushing “Well at the beginning it can be painful but then it becomes very pleasurable”

“Pleasurable?” Sansa asked with a frown. Truth be told she didn’t know much about those sort of things, the times she and Harrold had kissed she had felt something really nice pooling at the bottom of her stomach but on more than one occasion she had heard her aunt Lysa muttering about how awful it was to lay with a man so she always imagined it was something to fear rather than enjoy.

“Yes, if the man does it right” Mya stated

Sansa looked up at her confused “He can do it wrong?”

“I’ve heard some man only worry about themselves”

Sansa seemed to muse about it for a moment and nodded when she thought she had understood what the other girl was talking about “Will it hurt a lot?”

“If your partner is kind I promise you it will not” Mya offered sympathetically.

“I wonder…” Sansa trailed off, thinking about how charming Jon had looked when he gave her the rose and then about how feral he had seemed when he had her chin between his fingers.

As if sensing her distress Mya put the brush aside and caressed her hair softly with her hands “Do not fret my lady. I am sure King Jon will be very kind to you” She squeezed her shoulder before pulling away and allowing her to stand up from the chair.

“Thank you Mya” Sansa said with a smile before allowing the girl to retire for the night.

After her talk with Mya Sansa crawled into the covers and disposed herself to sleep however even if she closed her eyes her mind wasn’t able to shut down. Throwing the comforter of her body she slipped into her robe and opened the door of her chambers as quietly as she could.

She wanted to speak with the King and even if she knew the hour wasn’t appropriate she knew she would be unable to sleep if she hadn’t soothed her doubts and worries however once she reached the King’s chambers she saw a slender figure standing at the door.

Sansa hid behind one of the pillars to avoid being seen and watched with a heavy heart as Val, one of her ladies, slipped inside the King’s chambers. The door remained closed behind her for a few seconds and unable to stand in there any longer Sansa turned around and headed back to her rooms.

With eyes filled with tears Sansa lowered herself into the floor with her back to the door while she felt the anger and confusion spreading into her chest, wondering why it was she was feeling the way she was feeling after seeing the girl entering the King’s chambers.

 

 


	4. I've dreamed you a sin and a lie

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey there! I'm really glad you're enjoying the story, you can look for me on Tumblr as Cosmogirl3 for some art on it.   
> Sorry for any mistakes, you know english is not my birth language.

Her blue eyes were glacial as she stared at her own reflection on the full length mirror. Her ivory silk dress was tight at the waist and had a wide A-shaped skirt, an intricate golden pattern adorned the length of it and the sleeves were made of beautiful lace.

Her fiery red hair was styled in an elaborated braid and no headdress adorned her head, however a brilliant and expensive emerald necklace rested on her neck and matched the earrings she was using, both had been a gift of the King.

Sansa knew she looked beautiful; her ladies and her family had told her countless of times already as they helped her prepare, even Arya had stared at her in awe while murmuring about her looking like a true queen and yet Sansa felt nothing like that.

She felt ugly and worthless, she felt like a thing and not a person. The King was to marry her because he needed her, because without her the people wouldn’t support him not because he cared for her and loved her, and that was fine because she did not loved him either but that didn’t say she enjoyed being fooled by him.

Her insides soured as she remember Val walking inside his chambers, she had dismissed the girl the next day much to her astonishment and the King’s aunt who had tried to convince her to keep the girl with her but Sansa had put her foot down for she did not wish to have the woman who shared her future husband’s bed beside her. It was an insult and she was not fool enough to allow them to shame her that way.

“Are you ready my dear?” Her mother asked as she stood behind her. Catelyn’s blue eyes met hers in the mirror and for the first time Sansa saw sadness in them “This is not what I would have wished for you but it is our duty” The young girl nodded as her eyes watered with tears when she felt her mother’s hand gripping her shoulders.

“And if he harms you in any way I will hunt him down” Arya said fiercely, Sansa smiled sadly at her and leaned to caress her hair. She and her sister were as different as night and day but they loved each other deeply and there was no doubt they would do everything to protect each other.

Sansa closed her eyes briefly before exhaling and following her mother out of the room; on her way to the cathedral Sansa kept cursing the bloody papal dispensation that allowed her to marry her cousin, she cursed Petyr Baelish for taking the power when it wasn’t his to possess and above all cursed Jon Targaryen for taking her like a possession, spoils of war was all she was and all she would ever be.

She wondered if the strong dislike she had for her husband would ever stop existing, if with time she could find a way to enjoy being his wife. Her thoughts stopped abruptly because she remembered that if her mother’s plan succeeded she would not have to be his wife for long since he would be dead. Somehow the thought wasn’t encouraging either.

She walked her way to the altar on her own, for there was no man of her family to hand her over; if it were, Jon wouldn’t be standing there waiting for her. Her legs shook with every step but she refused to show how nervous she was, her chin was held high and her eyes were stony as she stared straight ahead.

She looked as regal as a woman could be; showing to everyone she was what everyone had thought her to be since an early age, she was a Queen and shone even brighter than the King.

Jon took her hands between his once she reached him and he spent the entire ceremony giving her sideway looks but for the life of her she couldn’t decipher what was hidden behind his hazel eyes. He unsettled her, unnerved her like no man before and when his lips posed over hers signaling their union she didn’t know whether to laugh or cry.

It was done, she had given herself to him and now he was to be her owner for the rest of her life that was unless her mother’s plan worked out and she was free to marry the man she truly loved.

“I guess our guest would prefer to see you more chipper dear wife” Jon whispered in her ear as they danced in front of their court hours after the ceremony concluded. He was not a bad dancer considering he had grown under the tutelage of men but he lacked the flare and grace high born men possessed and she was viciously glad to see another flaw in his regal armor.

She threw her head back and laughed graciously under his stunned eyes “Is that happy enough your grace?” She asked while she fixed him with a saccharine over the top smile “Or do you wish for me to smile more?”

His jaw clenched before he leaned down his face to whisper only to her “Do not test my limits Sansa, you’ll find I won’t always be so agreeable”

“Pardon me your grace; I didn’t realize you were being agreeable”

Jon gave her no more answers, only twirled her around the dance floor while their guests clapped and cooed over how beautiful they looked together. Sansa knew she was not behaving as her mother would want but she hated the idea that the war had stolen from her the chance of marrying the man she wanted; no, it wasn’t the war the one who stole that from her, it was her rank, the royal blood coursing through her veins.

The King spent the rest of the celebration ignoring her and that was right by her, she did not wished to have him hovering over her the entire time, she had enough of that with his aunt who seemed hell bent of making friends with her. Sansa liked the woman enough but she did not missed the double intended comments she threw her way every once in a while and how she was always seemed to think she wasn’t good enough for her nephew.

When the high lords started calling for the bedding Sansa felt her body going cold; a numbness like she never experienced before took hold of her and she could only see, as if somehow she was outside of her body looking down, how her mother and her ladies dragged her towards the King’s chambers where the marriage was to be consummated.

Sansa had shared a few kisses and touches with Harry before he was ripped away from her, but they never did anything too bold for they knew her virtue was something precious they needed to protect so her experience was inexistent; she trembled with fear as her mother undid the braid on her hair and Mya fastened the front laces of her shift.

“I’m afraid” She murmured, her voice was the one of a scared child and she hated herself for sounding so weak.

“I know you are my dear but I promise you everything will work out” Her mother’s voice was meant to be shooting but Sansa could detect the hint of fear hidden underneath “Be strong Sansa”

King Jon was adamant on wanting a private bedding so no one else but the two of them would be present while the actual act happened, but they would be waiting outside the room expecting the proof of her virtue. Sansa was grateful for the privacy but couldn’t help but burn with shame at the idea of everyone knowing what was taking place inside the room.

Once she was completely prepared her mother and Mya exited the room, not before her young maid went to her and whispered in her ear “The king is a good man my lady” before scurrying away behind the doors.

Her palms were sweaty and her heart was beating a mile a minute when he walked inside. He wore nothing but his sleeping robes and his hair was down and not in that bun he liked to wear; a rebellious curl fell over his eyes, eyes that were dark and filled with passion and for a second Sansa saw the appeal, saw everything that had servants girls whispering about for there was no doubt Jon was indeed a very attractive man.

“I am sorry my lady” In contrast to his expression his voice was soft and Sansa could detect a hint of remorse hidden in there “But you know it is our duty”

“I do know” She nodded “The only thing I will ask of you is that you treat me with kindness” Her head was high and her words sounded confident but her eyes were frantic and she was unable to hide the fear in them.

A look of tenderness passed across his face as he stared at her “Sweet girl” He murmured as he walked towards her, the breath got stuck in her throat when his hands reached to cup her cheeks “I will show you nothing but kindness” He leaned down and took her lips on his; involuntarily her eyes closed as his arms went around her frame and pulled her to him.

His lips were soft and they moved slowly against hers, his tongue peaking from inside his mouth to play with hers once in a while. Sansa was ashamed to admit that she enjoyed being kissed by him, that the place between her legs was growing damp with every stroke of his tongue, she hated herself for enjoy what was supposed to be an awful moment. She tried to cut herself from the emotions, tried not to feel anything but as his hands went to cup her heavy breast she could do nothing but to moan into his mouth, for the sensations were too intense for her to ignore them.

“Lay down my Lady” Jon whispered against her mouth as he released her. Sansa opened her eyes to stare at him, his lips were swollen from their kisses and his cheeks had acquired a reddish tint to them but it was his eyes that captivated her, they looked wild and feral as he raked them over her body.

Obeying his orders Sansa slowly climbed into the bed, the fear gripping her body again as she watched him following her, his body hovering over hers “I need you to relax sweet girl” He whispered and for a minute Sansa thought he was talking her like one of his horses, she had heard him using that tone with them before “Everything will be better if you relax” Sansa took a deep breath and followed his movements with her eyes as his hands went to work on her shift, unfastening the laces Mya had done so carefully “You truly are a beauty” He murmured as the skin of her chest was exposed to his eyes.

He lowered his face until the tip of his nose rested above one of her breasts and she felt his hands working her shift up, exposing her most private parts to his touch “So, so beautiful” He whispered as he dragged his face across her chest, his beard scratched her skin and she was confused as to way it felt so pleasurable.

He pulled away from her and she watched him, short on breath, as with one hand he pulled his robe up and with the other he played with the place between her legs. Sansa couldn’t help the gentle moans that left her lips at the feel of his fingers. She had never before felt something so similar and she didn’t know what to think of it.

“Are you ready my lady?” He asked as he settled himself between her legs, Sansa felt her heart picking up while he lowered his face towards hers and kissed her forehead as he entered in one swift movement. Sansa felt the air being sucked out of her chest and tears sprang to her eyes at the unbearable pain.

“No, no” She whispered at him as her wands gripped his robe at his sides trying to pull him away from her body “Please”

“I’m sorry” His voice sounded pained as he spoke, his eyes met hers and Sansa could see the regret in them “Stay still sweetling, the pain will pass” His fingers stroked her cheek as he fought with all his power to stay in control of his body.

“It won’t” She cried

“It will, sweet girl” His hazel eyes looked down at her with tenderness “Just relax”

In spite of the pain, Sansa tried to do what he asked and after a few moments she felt the pain lessening until it was almost all gone, only a deep sense of discomfort at having him inside her remained, that was until his hips started to move slowly and the pleasure she had felt earlier started to climb inside her body once again.

Without knowing how Sansa found herself searching his mouth, their breathings were jagged as he moved against her, inside her; tongues dancing with each other as Jon showed her pleasure like never before. Sansa knew that after everything was over she would hate herself for enjoying it but at the moment she could do nothing but embrace the overwhelming pleasure that was taking hold of her body.

He reached his peak before her, empting himself inside her and murmuring apologies against her mouth at the same time his fingers found her sex again and played with her until she was exploding around his fingers. Her vision blurring and toes curling as the most amazing sensations she ever experienced annihilated everything inside her.

“Next time it’ll be better” He said while he dropped himself on his back next to her and tried to catch his breath.

For the first time Sansa had no witty come back for him for she was sure all her neurons had been fried seconds earlier.

Jon had made her his and she had agreed to it fully, she had given herself to him without abandon and now that the pleasure was gone she could do nothing but let the shame swallow her whole.

What she had done?

 

 


	5. Every rose has its thorn

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you ever watched The White Princess you know in which scene I based this chapter on, if you haven't it please go and do it because the show is amazing.  
> Love,  
> Sam

She took a hand to her chest as she lay on the bed panting, her cheeks were flushed and sweat trickled down her skin while her red hair was sprawled on the pillows below her. She heard a low grunt and next thing her husband’s mouth was attached to one of her nipples, her eyes closed in pleasure as the moisture between her legs started to appear again. She wondered idly how was it possible for her to desire him again so soon after having him inside her mere seconds ago, how was possible for such a frenzied desire to exist inside her and manifest on the one man she was supposed to loath.

“You’ll be the death of me” He muttered as he rose above her and slipped inside once again, her nails went to dug on the soft flesh of his arse while his hungry mouth found hers.

His hips slammed forcefully into hers again and again as their tongues danced together. Their sweaty skin rubbed against each other as the pleasure escalated between them, the smell of sex and the sound of their skin meeting each other permeated the room and somewhere in the back of her mind Sansa chastised herself for being so wanton, so vulgar when it came to the man inside her.

She was no better than a whore and she hated him for making her feel that way, for making her feel so much.

He reached his peak before her, the feel of him growing larger inside her and of his seed bathing her insides was enough to throw her over the edge and she came so hard stars danced behind her closed eyelids.

Afterwards when the pleasure and adrenaline were evaporating from her body she felt her insides cooling, she felt the aversion to herself growing inside her for it was not possible she could shame her family and herself so much. Sansa was aware that love and desire were two different things but she was not supposed to feel either for her husband and yet she craved him inside her more every day.

“I wish for you to come on the tour with me” Jon said as he stood up from the bed completely naked, his back glistened with sweat under the light of the hearth and his buttocks contracted with every step he took.

“Me?” She asked as she averted her eyes from his naked form, the last thing she wanted was her body to light up for him once again “I’m not even your Queen” She didn’t even try to hide the bite on her voice.

Jon chuckled “Is that what you wish?” He asked as he poured two glasses of wine “A crown on your head, sweetling?” He moved back towards the bed, his large manhood hanging proudly between his legs.

“Isn’t that my right?” She accepted the cup he offered her and felt herself flush at the sight of his naked form in front of her.

“We’ve only been married for a couple of weeks” He drank from his glass greedily before depositing the object on the table and throwing a robe over his body while Sansa did the same with her shift.

“You need to test me then? To see if I can earn the crown?” She sounded offended and felt her anger grow when he only laughed softly. Didn’t he understand how much of an insult It was to someone of her birth to be treated this way?

He sat down in front of her, his hand going to her throat and caressing the skin there “You know that crown isn’t something you need to earn” Her eyes closed at the touch of his calloused fingers on her neck “Choose a date”

“What?” Her eyes flew open and she started at him with her mouth half open.

A gentle smile appeared on his lips “For your coronation, chose a date” She couldn’t shake the evident surprise on her face and he laughed gently at it “After that, I wish you to accompany me on the tour”

“Truly?”

He nodded “We are to start in the nearby towns to see to people’s needs, I want them to know me, not only to think of me as a King locked away in his castle and I want them to see us together”

_Because I am your hold in the crown._ She added bitterly in her head.

“I want to appease them. They call me Jon The Conqueror” He laughed bitterly “Can you believe that? A conqueror when it is my birth right to sit on this throne”

“You earned you crown with blood Jon, what did you expect?”

“Did you truly wish for Baelish to continue in power?” His nostrils flared as he spoke, a look of disbelief on his face “Your brothers are dead and your cousin is a mere child, who would have been a better ruler?”

_But he has good advisors_ Sansa wanted to add but decided to remain quiet because she did not wish to drawn more attention to Harry, Jon knew there had been something between them as he had told her a couple of days before and that was enough to make him an enemy in his eyes.

“Instead they despise me and continue to compare me to your father” He stood up and started walking the length of the room, the worry lines on his face were evident and she wondered briefly why he was being so open to her. “I have to wonder every day if today is the day they’ll rise against me, every smile and every word are fake. Everything is fake”

Sansa stood up from the bed then “That is what it means to be King, Jon. My father had to endure that as well. So if you did not wish for this then why take the crown to yourself?”

A sound of despair chocked up on his throat “Because this is what I’ve been told my whole life to be. There was never anything else for me…” His shoulders slumped in defeat and for a moment she felt sorry for him because she could understand what it was to be told since a young age what would be your role in the world “I was always supposed to be King, my Aunt told me again and again”

“Well now you are”

“This is not an idea life Sansa but I had hoped… that with time something could grow between us” His hazel eyes were tortured as he stared at her and she felt her heart squeezing in her chest at the sight “Perhaps not love but a tenderness…but I don’t think that’s going to be possible. Isn’t?”

Sansa seemed to think about his words for a moment as she felt her eyes filling with tears “And would that be enough for you? To live your life with a woman who does not love you?” Her words seemed to break him but she didn’t have it in her to care, not at the moment “Don’t you wish someone who burns for you? Who would ride across the battlefield in the middle of the night just to hear your voice?”

“I-“He seemed at loss and she knew he was thinking of what people told about herself and Harry “I know love is more than what you can give but at least spare me the humiliation of knowing you’re plotting against my life”

_I would never_ Sansa wanted to say but wasn’t that what she was doing? Wasn’t her mother trying to find ways of putting her cousin on the throne instead of him?

“But of course you can’t even give me that” He muttered before heading towards the door and exiting the room. Sansa slumped on the bed, her hand over her heart as she let the tears fall down from her eyes.

This was what she wanted wasn’t it? She was supposed to be honest with him and the truth was she could never love him, wasn’t it? Her heart belonged to another man and she could never give it to the one person who stopped her from being with the person she loved.

Then why did she feel such a hole in her heart after watching him leave?

* * *

The next day Sansa’s mind was still on the conversation with her husband as her mother brushed her long hair in front of the mirror. The elder woman had been talking with her about people who were still loyal to them inside the castle but she didn’t seem to focus because she kept seeing the dark sad eyes of Jon before he walked out of the room.

“So he wants you to choose a date already, right?” Her mother asked, bringing her back from her reverie. Sansa nodded absently and Catelyn’s brow furrowed as she studied her “What is it? Aren’t you excited?”

Sansa shrugged and the spoke softly “He wants me to go on tour with him”

“A tour?”

“He wants to visit the near villages, for us to appear as an united front” Her mother nodded as if the King’s intentions made perfect sense, people still resented his ruling and soon after his arrival the sweating disease had appeared among the people, a bad omen they said, so now Jon wanted to prove them he was one of them and what a better way to do it that with Sansa by his side.

“Do you know where would be the first place you’ll visit?” Catelyn asked

“I believe York, he wants to start by the strongest supporter of our house” Sansa said softly, remembering the words Lady Daenerys spoke to her in the morning

“Of course” Catelyn nodded once again as a smile stretched onto her lips while she tied with a ribbon the end of the braid she had styled her daughter’s hair in “That is perfect Sansa, Lord Royce is on York and he remains loyal to our cause” Catelyn placed the brush back on the boudoir “I must make the arrangements”

Sansa’s heart started beating widely in her chest as she watched her mother’s excited face “What are you talking about?” She did not like the madness on her mother’s eyes or what her words could mean and yet what could she possible do?

“Nothing to worry about my dear” Catelyn placed a kiss on the girl’s forehead before hurrying out of the room.

Sansa remained alone in the room, staring at her reflection in the mirror and seeing with sadness the dark circles under her eyes. Her feelings towards Jon started to conflict her and she was afraid she was losing her grasp on what was supposed to be important in her life.

She wanted her cousin on the throne, wanted her family to be the one in power again. Wanted to see Robin’s face again and to hold Harry in her arms once more but to have all of that she would have to see Jon’s body on the ground. Did she want that? Could she live with that?

 “What is happening to you Sansa?” She muttered as she sighed sadly before dropping her face into her hands.


	6. Something just like this

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I'm mixing a lot of GOT mythology and actual facts so plase don't pay too much attention to tittles and professions.  
> Love you!

She opened her eyes with a groan; a throbbing pain at her temples made her want to close them again but instead she kept them focused on the canopy above her. Sansa had been worried about her health for the last couple of days, since she appeared to be tired all the time and had lost her appetite; she hadn’t spoken a word to her husband or her mother for a part of her feared she was with child and that was the reason of her illness, Sansa did not dared to analyze yet how the thought of being carrying the King’s child made her feel.

Her relationship with her husband had diminished considerably since the argument they had over her impossibility to love him; he had withdrawn from her, missing the lengthy talks they sometimes had in her solar at nights and even deciding to break his fast without her. Sansa had realized, with great shame, that she missed his company.

Still every night he visited her bed; in those moments when they both forgot who they truly were they gave into the passion they weren’t supposed to share for the other. A tremor went down her body as she remembered how savage he had been the day of her coronation, almost ripping the night clothes of her body and leaving love marks all over her skin while ha panted in her ear how he would worship her like the true queen she was…the most shameful thing is that she had been eager for him, shuddering in his arms as he went inside her, biting and kissing whatever patch of skin she could reach.

If only her mother knew how she trembled like a wanton whore whenever Jon touched her… if Harry knew.

Sansa shut down her eyes in complete shame as she clutched the bed sheets closer to her body. The space between her legs had grown damp with thoughts of her rendezvous with her husband and she hated her treacherous body for it.

With a sigh and despite the protest of her temples she stood up from the bed and called for Mya, the only one of her handmaidens she could tolerate, and ordered for her to ready a bath for her. Once she sank into the lavender smelling warm water she let her thoughts run back to more important affairs like her sister’s betrothal.

Everyday Sansa tried to spend as much time as possible with Lady Daenerys, who seemed to enjoy her company, Sansa tried to learn from the slightly elder woman. She refused to be Jon’s queen only to be paraded around like a pretty thing, she wanted to learn how to run a household, she wanted to learn how to help their people and she wanted to learn politics; no one was going to be a better teacher than the silver haired woman whose counsel her husband valuated so much.

It was during one of the many talks they shared when Lady Daenerys had approached Sansa with the idea of a betrothal for Arya, the red haired girl knew that her sister would fight her every step of the way but she also knew that marriages were important to make alliances and that they needed to secure their position. The man Lady Daenerys suggested was the Duke of Orleans Gendry Baratheon, half-brother of the Prince of France, Sansa had met the young man before and knew he was handsome and remarkably kind so she believed him to be a good choice for Arya, now she only needed to think a way to break it softly to her sister.

Sansa left the bath until the skin of her fingers and toes was wrinkled, she changed into an emerald green silk dress she loved and styled her hair in lose waves down her back before going in direction of the dining hall where she knew her husband was waiting for her. She believed one of the reasons for her anxiety and aching temples was the fact Jon had asked to share a meal with her so they could talk about the oncoming tour, the idea of spending time with him outside the bedroom was enough to get her riled up.

“You look beautiful today my lady” Jon whispered the minute she saw her walking into the room, she felt her cheeks redden and a tingle started to grow low in her abdomen at his compliment.

She bowed her head in gratefulness and proceeded to sit down; they enjoyed a meal of roasted duck and potatoes as he talked about his plans for the tour, he told her about the cities they were visiting and what would be expected of them and she listened eagerly, absorbing as much information as he could give her.

Once they had settled everything about their trip he surprised her by asking about her father and his way of ruling.

“He was kind and fair with his people” She told him “He tried not to see them as his subjects but more like friends”

He nodded at her, his dark eyes lost in the cup of wine he was holding “And what makes me be different?” He asked.

Sansa looked startled for a minute before she composed herself “I don’t think they’ve given you the chance to prove yourself” She answered because despite what she wanted to believe, deep down she knew Jon was more like her father than everyone knew.

A frown appeared on his face “How so?”

“You came, you conquered, took the throne for yourself like Petyr did. They don’t want to experience that again so they will rebel against you every step of the way”

Jon seemed to muse on her words for a second, the cup of wine rose to his lips and Sansa bit her lip after seeing him lick a drop of the liquid that had clung to his upper lip “What about your cousin? Is he kind like your dad”

“He is” Sansa nodded

“But too young” Jon said almost absently as he placed the cup of wine back on the table “Surely you realize that” His dark eyes met hers and she felt like with just one look he could strip her soul bare “Though your hopes I believe, reside in his advisors”

Sansa’s eyes widened at the implication on his words “Your grace…”

“How is he Sansa?” His jaw was clenched and his knuckles were almost white from where he was gripping the table.

“Pardon me?” She asked as she felt the blood leaving her body, sweat trickled down her back and she swore her vision was darkening.

Jon made a sound of disgust “Your Harry… what is he like? What makes you love him so dearly?” There was a frantic desperation on his eyes she hadn’t seen before and for a minute she was afraid of him.

“Jon I don’t think-”

“But I want to know” He banged his hands on top of the table which made her stand up in a swift move.

She took a hand to her chest trying to ease her racing heart and turned around to escape her husband and his unsettling stare “I think I should go”

“No, you will not leave until I’m done with you” She heard the sound of the scraping chair and seconds later his hand was wrapped around her wrist.

He pulled her to him more forcefully than had ever been before “Please let me be” She whispered pleadingly, her eyes welled with tears and her head started to throb once again.

“Answer me!” He roared on her face

Sansa started to see black spots and the world seemed to be titling “Please Jon” She whispered once again before she collapsed into his arms.

“Sansa… Sansa!” She believed to hear his voice crying for her but it was nothing but a distant sound among all the darkness

* * *

When she came back on her senses she was no longer in the dining hall but in a plush and soft bed. A calloused hand was tracing soft circles on the palm on hers and she almost wanted to sigh at the feeling. With utter work her eyelids opened and the first thing she saw was the concern eyes of her husband hovering over her “What happened?” She asked in a breathless voice as she moved her eyes around the room and saw her mother standing by the door and Lady Daenerys next to her.

“You faint my love” Jon said before kissing the back of her hand “I’m so sorry” He whispered and Sansa knew he was referring to the argument they had before she collapsed, she wanted to stay mad at him for the crude way he had spoken to her but there was so much sorrow and regret in his eyes that she could not hold her anger for longer.

“It’s all right” She answered “Is something wrong?”

The maester appeared behind Jon, he was a chubby man with a kind smile and happened to be one of the King’s best friend “No need for worries, your health is in perfect conditions Lady Sansa”

A frown appeared on her face as she looked around the room “I don’t get it”

Jon chuckled before leaning towards her “You’re with child Sansa” His lips stretched into a wide grin and his eyes shone with pure delight “You’re giving me a child”

“Oh” That was all she could muster to answer for she could not understand the feelings in her chest. She had her suspicions before but had been afraid to confirm it because how could she feel happy to be carrying the child of the usurper? And how could she not be happy of having life growing inside her?

Sansa’s life in the last couple of months seemed to be a push and pull between what she was supposed to be feeling and what she was actually feeling. It was exhausting and she was getting so tired of it.

“Happiest news in days!” Daenerys said beaming from her spot on the door “The people are going to be thrilled with the news!”

Catelyn looked at the silver haired girl and her lips formed a thin smile “Indeed they are” She supported the other woman’s comment but Sansa could see her mother was not entirely happy with the announcement and that made the ache in her chest grow.

Jon kissed the back of her hand once again “You’ve made me the happiest man on earth Sansa” His face mover to hers and he kissed her lips softly, she responded to him almost automatically, still not fully understanding her feelings towards him and everything happening around her.

The next day it was informed to her by Lady Daenerys that she was no longer to attend the royal tour on the nearby cities for in her condition it was not recommended for her to travel. Sansa was disappointed for her had wished to be out of the castle and among the people; she had always enjoyed interacting with the peers. She spent the entire morning sulking over it and also wondering why her mother seemed to be delighted she was not to go in that trip.

Dread settled in her stomach as she wondered if her mother was up to something and how bad could it be.


	7. We are liars here, and everyone of us is better than you

His right hand gripped forcefully the fabric of his ridding pants while his knee bounced up and down. His uncle was sitting across from him in the carriage that was transporting them back to the castle and a frown of concern was etched on his forehead as he observed his young nephew.

“You need to calm down Jon” Viserys voice was soft and made him appeared to be much calmer than what he actually was “It’s over now”

“No, it’s not” Jon muttered through clenched teeth, his hazel eyes focused on the passing landscape outside the window “This will never end”

They had decided to leave the visit to the small town of York for last, a fact he informed his wife a few days before leaving, and upon arriving there he found that the people weren’t as welcoming as they had been in previous towns, Jon wasn’t that surprised for he knew that town had always been loyal to the Starks and it was where their biggest supported resided; what came off as a shock to him was the fact a noble man called Yohn Royce tried to stab him with a sharp silver knife, his guards had been able to avoid the attack but the man had fled. 

Their visit was cut short and now they were going back to the castle where his pregnant wife waited for him, a wife he was sure had conspired to have him murdered, whether it had been her idea or her mother’s Jon had no doubt  both Stark woman were involved in such a devious plot. His heart was heavy with disappointment at imagining the girl he had come to care for, hating him so badly as to wish his death.

“We need to be wise about this” Viserys told him while reaching across him and placing his hand on top of his clenched one “People are going to fight you, you’re not the first King who’s not acclaimed by the people but you need to earn their love” Jon rolled his eyes and huffed at his uncle “Don’t act like a boy Jon, you’re a man”

“Oh I am well aware of that Uncle” Jon spat as he shoved the blonde’s man hand away “I am also aware that even the walls at the castle conspire against me”

“And they will continue doing it so” Viserys said “But you need to be smarter than them”

Jon’s jaw clenched but he nodded as his uncle since he desired to speak no longer, his gaze got lost once more on the outside world and his mind took him back to his time in the east growing up, a small smile came to his lips when he remembered his training sessions with Drogo, his chess matches with Viserys and the hugs given by Daenerys whenever she had the chance to visit him. Those were simpler times, happier times and yet he was forced to leave them behind to travel into a foreign land a take a throne he didn’t even truly desired.

On top of that he had to suffer the humiliation of knowing his own wife plotted to have him killed, sometimes Jon wondered if it had all been worth it.

After two days of travelling they finally arrived back into the castle; the minute the gates opened Daenerys ran towards them both and welcomed them into her arms, her eyes were tear filled and her hold strong enough to let Jon know how concerned she had been for him.

“I was so afraid” She whispered into his ear as her hand clutched a fist of dark curls into her hand “We must get rid of that woman Jon”

The young Targaryen King nodded as he released his aunt, he knew it had to be done since the moment he realized a plot against him had been brewed inside the castle walls, he couldn’t have Catelyn Stark poisoning the mind of everyone at court but he couldn’t kill her either so he had to think of a solution that would work for all his proposes.

“We will think of something” Viserys said as he squeezed Jon’s shoulder as if somehow he had been able to read his thoughts. The young man nodded and left his family behind as he went inside and headed in direction of his chambers; he asked for a hot meal and a hot bath since he needed both dearly and was in the process of discarding his clothes when Sansa walked in with a frightened look.

He had been away for only a couple of weeks but he already felt there were so many changes in her; he had forgotten how beautiful she was and the thought hit him violently as he regarded her now, a small bump could be seen on her stomach and he felt his heart swell with pride and sadness as he thought about the child growing in her.

“I’ve heard about what happened…” Her hands twisted nervously in front of her and he had to tear his eyes away from her body or he knew he would end up caving.

His jaw clenched as his eyes went to the window behind him “Heard about it? Oh sweet girl I bet you knew all about it” He didn’t miss her intake of breath once the words came out of his lips so he knew she had grasped the complete meaning of what he wanted to say “Let’s at least stop pretending”

“No, Jon… I had no idea” Her voice was soft and he could feel her walking towards him, his back stiffened and his fist clenched at his sides at feeling her proximity “I swear to you, I would have never-“

“Stop it Sansa!” He grunted unable to control himself as he spun around and faced her, tear filled blue eyes stared at him and he felt his heart clenching at the sight “At least have the decency to admit what you did”

Her cheeks reddened and her upper lip trembled “But I did not!” She shouted “I would never…” Her hand rose towards his face and he moved back violently so she wasn’t able to touch him. She flinched at the action but did not back down “Jon you must believe what I say, I would never do something like that”

“The thing is Sansa, I cannot believe you”

Her shoulders sagged and her eyes looked down, he could tell she was trying to fight back tears and wanted nothing more than to take her in his arms and make all of her pain go away but he couldn’t. He had opened up too much with her and it had backfired, she was his wife but their marriage was not out of love, he had to learn to accept that.

“What can I do to make this right?” Her voice was a mere whisper and he was able to detect the hint of pain in there, or perhaps she was only too good at fooling him and was now showing him what she believed he wanted to see.

“You can’t”

“But I-“

“I must ask you to leave”

“Jon…” The breath caught in her throat and she raised her hand towards him once again but dropped it at the last minute “I truly am sorry, I did not know anything about it” She whispered before gathering her skirts and swirling around, the door locking quietly behind her.

Jon took hold of the cup of ale resting on his table and drank greedily from it before throwing the offending object against the nearest wall. His blood was burning on his veins and his whole body buzzed with anger and disappointment,

“Damn it, damn it” He cursed as his hands found his dark hair and tugged, he felt like a mad man, felt like the world was closing around him and he didn’t know in which direction to hide.

Once his outburst had passed he started to once again unbuttoning his shirt but was interrupted by a soft knock on the door, he sighed but gave the command for the other person to come inside.

Val walked in, her long golden hair braided over her shoulder and her gray eyes looking down “I am sorry to disturb you my lord” Her voice was soft and warm like honey and Jon couldn’t help the smile that pulled at his lips at hearing her.  She had always been loyal to him and reminded him of happier times.

“It is not a problem; you wanted to tell me something?” He asked as he leaned his hip against the table placed in front of the window.

“I wanted to apologize” Her hands twisted in front of her just as Sansa’s had done earlier, just the thought of his wife was enough to erase the smile on Jon’s face “I did not do my job correctly and you almost got hurt because of it”

Jon sighed and moved closer to the girl, his hand went underneath her chin and forced her face up “It was not your fault Val”

Her lower lip quivered but instead of bursting into the tears she swallowed deeply and straightened her spine up “I should have paid more attention but the Queen refuses my assistance and I am not sure Mya can be trusted”

“I don’t think she can be, I’ve watched her and she appears to be quite loyal to my wife” He said slowly “You need to try and make Sansa lets you near her, find out why is that she doesn’t want you close”

Val nodded eagerly “I will do it my Lord, I will not disappoint you this time” Jon nodded as he stroked the girl’s cheek softly while he smiled at her.

“You may leave now Val”

The girl curtsied to him and headed towards the hallway. Once the door was closed behind her Jon finally got rid of his clothes and sunk himself into the water, which was now lukewarm instead of hot, the aroma of the oils the maids had poured seemed to calm his senses and aching muscles and in spite of himself he let his mind wander toward simpler life, to a life outside of England and everything he had lost once he won his crown.

_Was it worth it Jon?_ A voice asked inside his head.

He thought about Sansa and the softness of her body when she was in his arms, he thought of the life growing in her belly and the soft smiles she sometimes gifted him with. He thought about their long talks at night and how much she seemed to understand him, the softness of her red hair and the small sounds she made when he moved inside her. He thought about her love for stories and her sweet smelling skin.

_Was it worth it?_

His mind now wandered to her betrayal and the disdain in her eyes when she looked at him sometimes, to her love for Harrold and the tears he had seen in her eyes moments earlier. He thought about Yohn Royce’s cold blade against his neck and the contempt of the Yorkish people as they watched him.

_No, perhaps it hadn’t been worth it._

With a sigh he let himself sink down into the water, he wanted even for a second to forget all the grief that tormented his every day and just pretend everything he hoped for his entire life had been exactly as he expected.


	8. This love is like fire and Ice

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the shortness of this chapter, it's not one of my best but I hope you like it.  
> Thanks for reading!

Sansa paced back and forth in front of the fireplace as her mother sat quietly by the window; she couldn’t understand how the older woman could be that calmed after everything that had happened, she felt like everything inside was sizzling and the sense of dread that had installed itself in the pit of her stomach refused to disappear.

“This will not interfere with our plans Sansa” At the sound of her mother’s voice, her head snapped towards her and a somber shadow covered her face.

“Do you realize what you did mother?” Sansa nearly shrieked, she didn’t know whether to laugh or weep at her mother’s indiscretion “You tried to murder the king!” She stood still as she looked at her “He could have killed you easily augmenting treason and he would have been right to do so!”

Catelyn dismissed her daughter’s concern with a wave of her hand “He knows he can’t kill me, the people isn’t fond of him now, imagine what would happen if he executed the previous beloved queen” An unnerving half smile appeared on the woman’s lips “That’s why I’m only to be send away in some form of house arrest”

Sansa had been terrified when Jon had barged in on her mother’s solar to inform she was to be send to Winterfell, the family’s previous state, and that she was to remain there indefinitely. The young girl had been sure he was about to order the execution of her mother so to learn he had spared her had been a total relief.

“But he’s too naïve if he thinks that having me out of the castle will solve things”

Sansa’s blood ran cold at the words her mother spoke, her body shook slightly as she walked a couple of steps closer to her “What do you mean mother?” Her words were spoken with coldness and caution “This is the father of my child you’re talking about” Out of pure instinct her right hand went to rest on top of her growing belly “You can’t continue with this plot!”

She knew it had been their plan; knew that ever since Jon announced their marriage her mother’s sole propose was to use her to overthrown him but now she couldn’t stop the ache in her chest whenever she imagined Jon’s lifeless body; she couldn’t bear to think about not hearing his voice again or feeling his touch, moreover she was carrying his child, if her mother succeeded and Jon was murdered what was going to happen with her baby?

She knew how the monarchy worked and if Jon fell there was no way her child would make it out alive.

“I know this is a difficult position to put you in my dear” Catelyn stood up and moved towards her “But our family belongs in the throne, don’t you wish to see your cousin again, to see Harry?

Sansa let out a sharp intake of breath “That it’s not fair” Her voice wobbled and felt her eyes filling with tears when she thought about the man she loved and all the feelings that were arousing in her towards her husband, the one man she wasn’t supposed to love.

“I didn’t want to give you this because I know It could affect you in your condition” Catelyn took a folded paper out of her dress pocket and extended it towards her daughter “But I think it would be wise for you to read it”

Sansa took the parchment with shaky hands and felt the tears falling down of her eyes when she saw the handwritten message her lover had wrote for her. It had been so long since she had any word from him and she felt a lump clogging her throat as she read the words he had written just for her.

**_My dear Sansa,_ **

_I know it is not safe to write to you but I couldn’t spend another minute without you knowing that I understand; I understand what you had to do for your family and I will never hold it against you my love. I burn with rage whenever I think of the pain you must be suffering and I promise you I will do everything in my power to release you from that prison you were put in._

_I pray for the day when we can reunite again my darling, I spend every night thinking about your hair and the smell of your skin. I think of you all the time, please keep me in your memories as well._

_With all my love,_

_Yours always,_

**_H._ **

She collapsed into a nearby chair as the tears fell unchecked down her cheeks, her hands trembled and she could feel a wail wanted to burst open from her throat, because she had failed him. She had broken the vow she once made to him; she had given herself to Jon without abandon, not even once thinking about Harry and his pain, she now carried his child and had opened a place in her heart for him without even noticing.

She had committed the worst of treasons while he was out there fighting to get her family into safety once again, she was no worse than Petyr who had betrayed her father in his final moments.

“Oh my sweet girl” Catelyn voice was soft as she bended at the waist to wrap her arms around her daughter “It’s all going to be all right Sansa, everything will be like it is supposed to”

“Oh mother” The young woman clung to her mother’s arms as she rocked her softly. The emotions inside her were too many for her to bear; the confusion clouded her mind and crippled her with fear.

“You won’t be alone my dear” Catelyn whispered “Arya will be with you and together you two will help with our cause”

Sansa wanted to weep harder at the words her mother spoke, for she did not wished Jon to be killed, she wanted her child to have a father, she wanted everyone to be happy and to stop this war once and for all.

This had been her biggest curse all her life, she was always wishing for the things she couldn’t have.

* * *

Her back stiffened when she felt his presence behind her; her eyes were trained on the window as she watched the carriage that transported her mother move further way from the castle, it pained to imagine her day to day life without her mother present but she understood where Jon was coming from, it would not look right for him to keep a traitor in his court.

“I am sorry Sansa” His whisper send shivers down her spine, his breath caressed the skin of the nape of her neck since her hair was piled up “But it needed to be done”

She nodded as her hands twisted nervously in front of her, a gesture he caught her doing more often than not “I understand” She answered before swirling around and facing him.

A breach with the size of the sea had opened between them after his assassination attempt and she couldn’t think of how to make things right between them again. A part of her resented Jon for forcing her into the marriage but another part of her had grown fond of him and despite her duty and love towards her family she couldn’t help but wish for his closeness again; every word and action toward her had been cold and she missed the affable loving man she had gotten to know.

“Jon I wish to speak with you” Her voice was pleading and she hoped her eyes could convey everything she was feeling for she wished nothing more than for him to believe her because it was truth she had been oblivious to her mother’s plan to take him out on York.

“We have nothing to talk about Sansa” His words were soft but final and Sansa felt herself deflating with his answer.

“But Jon-“

He cut her off by taking her face between his hands, the feel of calluses against her skin was much more comforting than what she expected and she surprised herself by leaning towards his touch “You should not worry about such things sweet girl” His eyes looked down and focused on the small bump in her stomach “Not right now”

His anger had slowly ebbed away since the day he threw her away from his chambers but he had remained cold and detached towards her, this was the first time since the incident when he was acting loving towards her and Sansa found herself basking in the attention, knowing fully well she would despise herself because of it afterwards.

“Do you believe me Jon?” She asked breathlessly, eyes closing as he drew her face closer to his, the tip of his nose brushing against hers.

“I believe you are sorry” Her eyes snapped open, regret and shame shinning in them as she stared into his hazel eyes “It’s all right sweet girl, I understand”

She shook her head violently “No you don’t” Her hand rose and found his curls at the back of his neck, tugging him as she forced his face closer to hers. Their mouths almost touching “I do not wish to see you dead Jon”

A small smile started forming on his lips when Viserys appeared on the corridor and asked to speak with the King, their moment was interrupted and Jon seemed to retreat once away into the icy shell he had built around himself in the last few days.

The only sign that she hadn’t imagined the moment between them was his soft hand caressing her cheek and her lips in a loving manner before he parted, leaving her alone and confused in that lonely corridor.

She pressed her back against the cold granite of the wall and felt her tears soaking her cheeks. She had been so happy when she was young, always laughing and dancing around but it appeared ever since her father died every trace of happiness in her life had died as well for she did nothing but cry these days.

She cried for her brothers who were no longer alive, she cried for her sister who would have to marry against her will, cried for her mother locked away in their old home, for her father who lost everything he ever built, for her cousin who was on the run, she cried for her love Harry who still thought of her every day and she cried for her husband whom she was growing to love.

It was with a deep ache in the chest and a feel of hollowness in her stomach that Sansa came to the realization that her anger and resentment to Jon had started to change into love and longing. And with great pain she wondered which of them was worst.


	9. I love you without knowing how

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I love you as certain dark things are to be loved,  
> in secret, between the shadow and the soul.

Her head was resting against the window pane as she watched the rain fall and wet the green grass of the garden. The sound of the droplets hitting the glass was the only thing beside her breathing and the crackling of the fire that could be heard. It was always like this for her lately; Arya refused to speak to her after learning about her oncoming marriage to Duke Gendry, it had been six months without her mother, Jon barely spent time with her and in fact seemed to do everything to avoid her and her best friend Margaery had been recently weeded and had gone away with her husband.

Sansa was alone, more alone than ever. The only person who spent time with her on regular basis was Jon’s Aunt, and although Sansa appreciate Daenerys’s company she still wasn’t completely comfortable around her. Moreover Jon seemed to rely everything on his aunt, she was his most trusted advisor and he never did anything without asking her first; this behavior had caused the red haired girl to develop some sort of resentment towards the older woman.

She felt utterly miserable, with nothing but the illusion of her child to keep her warm at nights.

A knock on the door made the young girl step out of her thoughts and with a sigh she ordered the person outside to walk inside.

 “Your grace” Val whispered quietly and bowed her golden haired head as she curtsy for her “I came to see if you were ready for us to prepare your bath”

“I am” Sansa’s words were clipped as she regarded the young woman with steely eyes “But I do not want you to do it” She said with a dismissive wave of her hand “Call Mya in”

“Of course your grace” Val said looking down and turned back in direction of the door, she stopped in the threshold and turned her gaze back on the Queen “Your grace? May I ask why is that you do not like me?”

“You may not” She pursued her lips and stood up “But I will tell you anyway” Her chin was held high as she walked towards the younger girl “I do not appreciate the woman who beds my husband to give me fake smiles and pretend to care about me when we both know it’s not the case”

Surprise shone on the younger girl’s eyes “Oh” Her cheeks flushed and she rose her hands in front of her “You have it all wrong your grace”

Sansa’s jaw clenched as she turned her back on the girl “Leave Val” She was not in a good mood and didn’t fancy spend the last minutes hearing how her maid tried to expel herself from all guilt.

“But-“

“Did I not make myself clear?” Harness dripped from her words as she fisted her hands at her sides. Her back stiff and eyes trained on the courtyard outside the window.

“Of course your grace” Val told her softly before scurrying away to fetch Mya.

Sansa took a long and hot bath but everything inside her appeared to be as cold as the rain that fell outside her window. 

* * *

Later that evening she was sitting in front of the hearth with her needlework on her hands when her husband walked inside. Her eyes rose to see him and she couldn’t help but admire all the changes he had suffered after months living in England; there was color to his cheeks now and they didn’t hollow like they used to, his form had gained built and his lips were now longer chapped and dry.

He was a fine looking man and with every day that passed he appeared to become more comfortable on himself and the rank that he now sported. He was all King now.

“You seem sad today” He commented as he walked to sit on the chair facing hers “How are you feeling?”

She went back to her needlework “As usual I guess so”

Jon seemed troubled for a second “Sansa…” He whispered, his eyes softening as he stared at her “I truly don’t know what to do with you”

“Then why have me?” Her voice was hard as steel but she did not moved her eyes from the work at her hands, a fact that unnerved her husband dearly.

“You know why” He told her and remained silent for a moment before reaching to her and removing the needlework from her hand. She protested with her eyes but did not say a word, specially not after he took her hand between his and started caressing it softly “Even so, I’ve never not once have been disrespectful of you”

She let out a humorless laugh and removed her hand from his “Of course, she ran straight to tell you”

Jon sighed “Val is loyal to me”

“I imagine” She couldn’t help the bite on her voice.

A half smile appeared on his lips and Sansa hated to think her anger amused him “But not in the way you think” He told her softly “I don’t have a mistress Sansa, I’ve never had and Val and I have never been together”

“How convenient” She chuckled

“It is the truth” He said hardly “I ask you to trust me like once you asked me to trust you”

She rolled her eyes at him “And did you believed me?”

“Fair enough” He said with a light chuckle “But I can assure you Sansa, I’ve never been unfaithful to you nor I pretend to be”

She sighed as she averted her gaze from his “It wouldn’t be strange you know. You’re a king, Kings have mistresses”

“Not me, it is not who I am” He stood up and went to kneel at her feet “I asked Val to spy on you and then report to me. That’s the only affair we have together”

Her tortured blue eyes went stormy as she stood up “You bastard!”

“What did you expect me to do?” He rose to his feet as well “I am surrounded by enemies here” He nearly shouted.

“And I am one too?!”

He glared at her “You answer me that Sansa”

She looked down ashamed at remembering her mother’s attempts at killing her husband “I am not, Jon”

His hand rose to grip her by the shoulders “But you were, you wished to see me dead” There was a frantic edge to his voice as he pulled her towards his body.

“I didn’t know” She whispered, her eyes welling with tears “I truly didn’t know”

Jon pulled her towards his chest, his arms going around her frame as the side of her growing belly rested against him “It’s okay sweet girl” He kissed her forehead and Sansa allowed herself to melt into his embrace “Don’t get upset it can’t be good the babe”

“I feel so alone Jon” She half sobbed

“I know” He sounded pained as he spoke, his arms tightening around her frame “And I’m sorry, I’ve been a lousy husband haven’t I?” She didn’t respond and they remained intertwined as the fire crackled in the hearth until she pulled away with a curios expression on her face.

“Oh” She said as she took her hands towards her belly and started rubbing at it softly.

“What is it?” His brow furrowed in concern “Is something wrong?”

“No, baby just moved” Sansa said smiling as she stared down at her belly “He gets very active at nights”

“He?”

She raised her eyes to his and gifted him with a small wink “Women know this things” Her lips stretched into a smile “You want to feel?”

Jon seemed taken a back for a minute before a look of trepidation appeared on his face “Can I?”

She smiled softly at him “Of course”

Jon raised his hand and placed it on top of her belly. A look of pure wonder appeared on his face and he moved closer, both hands resting on top of her “God, I can hardly believe you and I created life together” He said as he let out a chuckle of pure delight. Their child inside her continued moving frantically as if he somehow knew his father was feeling him “This is so amazing” He murmured as his eyes rose to meet hers, happiness and content shinning in the hazel orbs.

“I know” She breathed out, a feeling so strong as she never felt before took hold of her body as she stared at him and his wondered look “Jon… can I ask something of you?”

“Anything” He asked with a smile as his face moved closer to hers, their breaths almost mingling.

“I will be entering retirement soon” She spoke softly as she moved away slowly from him “The birth is coming and I would like to have my mom with me”

His jaw clenches as his eyes frosted over “No”

Sansa sighed “But I can’t be alone”

Jon shook his head “You have your sister and my aunt”

“Both who’ve never birthed any children!” She nearly shouted “My mother had five, please Jon. I’m so scared” Her hands gripped the edges of his shirt as she stared into his eyes.

His eyes softened as he dropped his forehead into hers “You know I can’t Sansa”

Sansa’s hands went up his torso until they rested on his neck where she started caressing the exposed skin she could find “Jon, please. Just for the birth, I promise” His eyes closed at the feel of her hands on him.

“Goddamn” He muttered as he pulled away from her “It appears I won’t be able to refuse you”

Her eyes lightened up with hope “Truly?”

“I will make the arrangements” He nodded solemnly

“Oh thank you Jon!” Sansa shouted in pure delight as she flung her arms around him, his hand went to her hips to steady her as he breathed out in her lovely scent “Thank you” She whispered, breath catching in her throat as he caressed her cheek with his own. His stubble scratching her chin in the best way possible.

“You have so much power my lady” He murmured, lips placed at the corner of her mouth “And I’m afraid you hardly notice” Sansa blushed before she allowed her lips to graze his softly.

It felt right, to be with him in that moment. Sharing the joy of the arrival of their child and in that moment she knew she wouldn’t trade that feeling for anything else in the world.


	10. Hate cannot drive out hate

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Darkness cannot drive out darkness: only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate: only love can do that.” -Martin Luther King Jr.-

Winter arrived to England with a thick blanket of snow; windows frosted over, fire burned brighter in the hearth and warm wool dresses were pulled out to grace the bodies of women at court. While all of that was taking place, Sansa Stark remained locked down in a beautiful room decorated by the hands of Princess Daenerys, warm blankets covered her body and her husband was sitting next to her bed while they were locked in an intense chess game.

Sansa had entered confinement a couple of weeks ago and had hated every single minute of it. She hated being in bed not able to move, not to be able to play in the snow or wander around the halls at her liking, she also hated the fact she would miss the Christmas celebrations but she was aware that all those sacrifices were for her child, who rested healthy and big inside her womb.

Jon moved his bishop placing it in direct strike for the King and with a smirk Sansa took her Queen and knocked down Jon’s piece “You’re getting awfully good at this dear wife”

Sansa smiled “There’s nothing else for me to do at the moment”

As promised, Jon had allowed her mother to return to court only until the child was born he had said; Sansa had breathed a sigh of relief at seeing her mother’s figure in front of her. The young girl had been so scared and finally having her mother with her sharing all of her wisdom was enough to keep her at ease, she wished the older woman could be more understanding, she wished she could be on her side for once.

Sansa knew her mother would be allowed to remain in the castle if she hadn’t plotted against the King’s life, she knew it was her own fault she was send away. She wondered why she couldn’t just accept her as Queen and be happy with it, it pained her to see her mother plotting against her husband and it cut deeply to see the nasty stares directed at her whenever she was spending time with Jon, it made her feel dirty and ashamed.

And why she was supposed to feel that way? She had done nothing wrong, she had married the man they asked her to, bedded him and conceived his child; all of those things were expected of her. Then why was she shamed? Because she believed her husband to be a good man? Because she enjoyed his company? Sansa loved her cousin dearly and Harry too, she wanted both of them safe and sound but she no longer wished for Robin to be on the throne, because him being King will only mean death to her own flesh and blood.

“Checkmate” Jon said triumphantly, bringing Sansa out of her reverie “You got sloppy sweetling”

Her cheeks reddened as she realized her mistake, she had been so absorbed on her own mind that she had barely paid attention to the game “Perhaps I allowed you to win” She said.

Jon chuckled “We both know that is not true” Sansa’s smile widened and in an act of pure impulse Jon stretched from his chair and took her lips in a sweet kiss, the girl sighed with content at the feel of his lips on hers. That had been happening a lot lately, ever since the night where he felt the baby kick he had been incredibly loving towards her and Sansa wasn’t ashamed to admit she craved his affection.

“I think perhaps is time for Sansa to sleep now your grace” The hard bristling sound of Catelyn Stark made Jon pull away from her and the young girl felt the blood heating up on her veins.

“I am not tired mother” She gritted out, his lips still inches away from hers.

“I’m sure it’s not healthy for the baby to be kept awake this late” Jon sighed and she felt him smirking against her lips before he pecked her one last time and pulled away.

“I want nothing else than for the babe to be healthy” Jon addressed Catelyn Stark with seriousness and sharpness but Sansa could see the beginnings of a smile on his lips and realized he was mocking her mother.

A giggle escaped from her lips and she had to cover her mouth with her hand to muffle it at the sharp glare her mother threw her way “Goodnight your grace” Catelyn barely hissed and Jon had to hide his smirk to avoid making the former Queen even angrier; Jon admired her courage, she was a guest in his court and yet she dared to be rude to him, she had guts and he only hoped her pride didn’t reached a place where he had to eliminate her in order to stop her from creating havoc, he didn’t wish to bring that much pain into Sansa’s heart.

Jon leaned down towards his wife once again and placed a soft kiss on her forehead while he took a hand to her stomach and caress it softly “Goodnight sweetling” Sansa smiled at him “Sleep well”

“You too Jon”

He stole one last kiss and straightened up before nodding courtly to Lady Stark and disappearing behind the heavy oak door.

Catelyn’s icy blue eyes stared daggers at Sansa but the young woman waited to speak until her husband’s retreating footsteps on the hallway were no longer heard “Do not look at me like that”

Catelyn pursued her lips “And how should I look at you Sansa?” She said as she walked towards the bed “Do you realize what you’re doing?”

Sansa rolled her eyes in a very un-lady like manner “What? I am being a wife mother, that’s what you asked of me”

Catelyn’s face contorted in rage “I asked for you to wrap him around your finger Sansa! Not for you to be wrapped around his!” The veins on her mother neck were popping out in result of the anger cursing through her body “You’re so selfish” She spat out as she turned her back on her and walked towards the window.

Sansa felt her body shacking with rage “Oh, I am selfish?” She nearly shouted “I had to marry a man I didn’t know mother! I had to lay with him even though I barely knew him and all for the honor of this family, for the power, for everything I don’t give a damn about!” Her lower lip trembled as she straightened her spine as much as she could while remaining on the bed.

Catelyn turned around so fast Sansa was surprised she didn’t get whiplashed “You were supposed to do that to put our family on the throne!” The blue eyes that were so similar to hers looked at her with a disdain she hadn’t seen in them before but instead of hurting her it only made her angrier.

Sansa placed both hands on top of her large belly “And our family is on the throne! I am Queen! My child will be King someday”

Catelyn looked down, her eyes refusing to meet hers “That is not what I meant”

Sansa fought against the tears that were gathering in her eyes for nothing hurt her more than to realize how little her mother truly cared about her and the child inside her “I know, I know what you meant”

 “Give her a break mother” Arya’s voice made both women snap their attention towards the now open door where the younger Stark was casually standing, her hair was up in a twisted style and she was wearing those ridding pants her mother hated so much.

“Arya…” Catelyn said in a warning voice but the girl only shrugged.

“Let’s not lose our line of thoughts here; we were on Sansa who did everything it for the good of the family” Warm hazel eyes looked at the woman in the bed “Just like I will”

Sansa felt the air catching in her throat “Arya, I’m sorry-“

“Stop it Sansa, I know why I must do this” She said solemnly. The young woman had been out of her mind when news of her betrothal reached her ears, she had cursed at her sister, the world and the court, she even had refused to speak with Sansa for weeks but then she had a change of heart and realized she wasn’t the only one making sacrifices for the family, it was the way of the world and no matter how hard she tried she would never be able to change it “Can’t you at least allow her to find some happiness in it?”

A sad expression appeared on the older woman’s face “I am just trying to protect her”

Arya rolled her eyes at her mother “You are just thinking about yourself”

Sansa sighed, a headache was starting to appear and she realized her mother and sister were about to launch themselves in one of their heated arguments and that was the last thing she wanted “Can I please just get some rest?” She asked as she leaned back down on the bed once again.

Arya and Catelyn both stopped mid-sentence and turned to look at Sansa “Of course” Her sister said with softened eyes and a small smile while her mother walked towards her and placed a kiss on her forehead.

“Sleep well sweetheart”

They both retired and the young Queen closed her eyes in an attempt to sleep but all that came to her where memories of Harry and Robin, of her brothers and her father, of moments when they were happy. She hated her mother for planting that seed of doubt and resentment inside her, she hated her for not allowing her to be happy.

The sleep came without warning her; her tired body succumbed to the tiredness but instead of allowing her to have a fully recovering night the baby inside her decided it was his time, so at almost four am Sansa woke up to a sharp pain piercing her middle.

“Mother!” She cried out as she tried to sit straighter in the bed, she could feel the place between her legs getting wet and a pressure like nothing she ever felt before building low on her stomach.

Her mother burst in through her door, her hair messy and a frown marring her forehead “Sansa… are you all right darling”

“I think the babe is coming” Sansa said in a gasp

“What? You’re still too early on” Arya said from where she was standing in the doorway.

“I don’t think he cares” Sansa cried out as a wave of pain hit her.

“Call the midwife” Catelyn barked at Arya who ran out of the place.

“Oh mom” Sansa cried as she tried to breath to the pain.

“Relax baby girl, relax” Catelyn threw a robe around her body and walked towards the bed to caress the hair on her daughters head, sweat had started to appear on her forehead as her face contorted in pain.

It seemed like hours passed until the midwife and her ladies arrived, she positioned herself between Sansa’s open legs and told her the baby was preparing itself to come any minute. Her ladies were calming her and telling her to breathe but she could concentrate on nothing but the pain and how afraid she was.

Soon Sansa heard commotion on the door of her chambers and the soft voice of Daenerys Targaryen resonated with authority “You need to stay here Jon!”

“I will not be left out” Her husband barked, Sansa could not see anything but only the sound of his voice was enough to calm her down.

“You are not allowed inside” Daenerys said once again.

“Dany I love you but if you don’t move aside I will make you” Sansa heard the threatening edge on Jon’s voice and seconds afterwards the sound of swords being unfolded “You think they scare me? Why don’t they try to stop me!”

She almost waited to hear the sound of steel against steel but instead of that the door opened and her husband rushed inside. Curls wild and eyes wide open as he went to her side.

“Jon” Sansa breathed out in relief, up until this moment she hadn’t realize how much she needed for him to be next to her.

He kissed her forehead and gripped her hand tightly “I’m here sweet girl, I’m here” He kissed her hair over and over again and in that moment she felt the pain lessening a fraction.

Sansa couldn’t understand what her feelings for Jon were but there was no doubt they weren’t the same she had when she first married him and she was not going to allow her mother tarnish them.

She was going to be a mother and she was going to do it alongside Jon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for reading!


	11. The way that you fall asleep

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I feel in love the way you fall asleep...slowly and then all at once" -John Green-

His long dark lashes fluttered as a small smile formed on hi slips; he was sleeping soundlessly against her chest and looked as pure and innocent as an angel would. She caressed the mop of dark hair on his head and kissed his forehead softly.

“I’ve never seen anything more beautiful” Jon said as he walked into the room, Sansa’s eyes rose to meet his and they twinkled with delight at having him near.

“He is perfect” Sansa said softly and directed her attention back to the baby boy in her arms as Jon sat on the bed next to her and peered down at his son.

“He is more than perfect” He whispered “Just like you”

The breath caught on her throat and she tipped her head to the side to stare at him before he leaned down and took her lips in a soft kiss, Sansa sighed into his mouth as she let herself be carried away in the warmth he always brought with himself.

Sansa Stark believed her feelings for her husband were changing before the birth of their son but nothing prepared her for the overwhelming swept of tenderness and longing she felt towards him after having their child in her arms. Her mother had parted a few days after Aegon was born just like they had agreed on and that had left the young woman free to relish on her husband’s affection, away from her mother’s judging eyes Sansa allowed herself to be completely his and she wasn’t ashamed to admit nothing had ever felt as perfect as embracing him as a husband and father to her child.

“You are absolutely ravishing” Jon whispered into her lips and she couldn’t help but smile. Ever since Aegon was born Jon couldn’t control the emotions inside him, whenever he saw his wife he wanted nothing more than to be with her, whenever he was going over bills or decrees with Daenerys and Viserys he caught himself thinking about Sansa and Aegon, wanting to be with them. Dany would glare at him hardly while Viserys chuckled and always told him to go be with his wife.

Jon was too obsessed with his wife and son and he feared the extent of the emotions growing in him for he had never felt that way towards another human being.

“I believe it’s time to put him in bed” Sansa said softly as she handed a sleeping Aegon to Jon’s open arms. Against her mother and Daenery’s wishes Sansa had refused a wet nurse and allowed only a handful of nursemaids to be with her son for she believed he was to grow up under her tutelage and nursing, Jon had agreed with her because he thought she was in the right and because he loved nothing more than to see Sansa with his child in arms.

The baby prince had already had a room prepared for him but for the time being Sansa and Jon liked to have him in a bassinet on their own chambers where they could be aware to his every need; Jon and Sansa weren’t conventional parents but they wouldn’t have it any other way.

“How is your sister?” Jon asked as he lowered down Aegon on his bassinet, the baby stirred but his eyes remained closed, the young father smiled at the sleeping form of his son and walked away towards his wife.

“Nervous I believe… though she will never allow me to see it” Sansa answered as she settled more comfortably on the bed and removed the right side of the comforter so Jon could climb underneath.

“Gendry is a good man” Jon said softly “I got to meet him during my time in exile and I can promise you he will be kind to her” He arranged the pillows on his side of the bed and lowered himself into the bed “I wouldn’t have suggested it if I thought he would be bad for her”

Sansa smiled softly at his words; during the time they had been married a fondness had grown between Jon and Arya to the point where they were close to each other, Sansa was glad to see that at least her sister could embrace Jon as part of her family; she liked to see them together, generally sparring in the grounds for Jon was one of the few people at court who didn’t mind that her sister wasn’t like any of the other ladies.

“I know you wouldn’t” Sansa said and leaned to place a soft kiss into his cheek. He smiled at her and stroked her cheek “I just hope everything works out for her”

“It will” He kissed her lips softly “You’ll see”

They leaned down on the bed and like many nights recently Jon curled himself around her back, providing her warmth and the comfort she so much needed. Sansa Stark went to sleep one more night with a smile on her face and a content heart.

* * *

The younger girl paced back and forth in front of the beautiful mahogany boudoir where her older sister was sitting at. A fine ivory silk dress graced her body while her hair was braided in a style she had never tried before, she felt like a doll and not at all like herself and yet her sister kept reassuring her that she looked beautiful, she had no desire to appear beautiful but the words warmed her heart anyway.

“I am scared” She admitted reluctantly.

Sansa’s expression softened “I know you are” She extended her hands in direction of her sister and watched as the younger girl walked towards her and took her offering hands “Everything will work out Arya” Sansa squeezed her hands softly “I know exactly what you’re feeling and I can promise you everything will work out in the end”

Arya sighed, her lower lip trembling slightly “We will not leave court immediately right?” She asked and for the first time Sansa saw true fear reflected on her sister’s eyes.

“No my darling” She told her “Jon has requested for Gendry to remain at court so you won’t be getting rid of me that easily”

Arya’s shoulder slumped down in relief “Thank you Sansa” The sisters squeezed their hands together one last time before standing up and finally heading out in direction of their awaiting carriage.

The royal wedding of her sister was a great affair; the people of England needed something to celebrate so Jon had given them a wedding, they wanted to see their young princess being happy so that’s what he hoped to deliver.

Sansa watched her sister walking down the aisle of Westminster Abbey and felt her heart clenching at the sight of her gloomy face; she looked like a statue, head held high and frosty eyes looked at front. In contrast with her Duke Gendry awaited at the alter with a conflicted look in his eyes, he stared at her sister with something resembling longing and Sansa wished in that moment for her sister not to harden her heart to her husband for she believed he could make her happy.

Jon and his aunt hadn’t been wrong because the whole country celebrated the union of their beloved princess and the young and handsome Duke of Orleans. Nobleman and women danced, ate and drank with smiles on their faces as the night went on.  

Sansa was glad to see her sister relax a bit after her first dance with her new husband but that guarded look still remained on her face, the young queen was confident that with time she would learn to embrace to her new life just like she was doing.

The red-haired queen was very happy to be dancing in the arms of her beloved but when she stared into his eyes she realized there was something he was guarding for her and she did not like the feeling in the pit of her stomach at believing he didn’t trust her, Sansa felt like they had moved forward so much since the birth of their babe and the last thing she wanted was to step back. Thoughts of Harry no longer haunted her as often as before and even though guilty consumed her sometimes she did not wished to stop whatever it was growing between her King and herself.

So when she watched him slipping out of the celebration she didn’t think twice about following him back his chambers; when she walked inside his back was to her as he was watching the darkening night sky outside of his window.

“What is troubling you Jon?” She asked softly as she closed the door behind her.

His back straightened and she was able to hear the almost inaudible sigh that escaped from his lips “You are very perceptive sweet girl”

The sound of her feet walking towards him resonated in the quiet chambers “I will like for you to confide in me” Her hand rose to rest on his shoulder as her face went to rest on his back.

Jon sighed, a tumult of emotions swirling inside him “Can I?” Sansa stiffened under his words but relaxed immediately because she knew that he had his reasons to doubt her yet that didn’t mean it didn’t hurt her to think that Jon didn’t trust her yet.

“Yes” She said and squeezed his shoulder softly.

Jon let out a deep breath as he turned around and drew her into the circle of his arms “It appears your cousin is already rising against me” His warm hazel eyes looked worry and troubled.

Sansa felt all the blood in her veins going cold at his words, her face paling considerable “What?”

Jon nodded “A letter arrived, Burgundy is supporting him and it appears they are gathering an army near our borders”

“Why will Burgundy help him… Arya just got married to a French man, he’s-“

“Your uncle Edmure is married to Lady Beatrice, I’m sure it’s his idea that they should support Robin’s claim” Jon told her, his expression somber as rolls of anxiety emanated from his body.

Sansa shook her head in complete astonishment “It can’t be…”

Jon gave her a sad look “It can dear Sansa and I know when the time comes England will not support me”

Sansa shook her head once again, blue eyes frantic as they stared at him “No, no you’re wrong. You’re their king” Her hands gripped his upper arms as she whispered the words in the darkened night.

Jon placed a hand underneath her chin and gripped it softly “No, I am not” He looked defeated, scared and angry all at the same time “But I will protect you Sansa, I will not let any harm come to you or our son”

Sansa’s heart clenched at the mention of the poor boy who had been in the world only a couple of weeks, the poor boy who would suffer if her husband fell “I know, I believe you” She told him with as much conviction as she could because she needed to believe it was possible, she needed to believe Jon was going to overcome every obstacle.

How was it that things had changed so much in less than a year? How was it possible for her to wish things so different than only months ago? A part of her felt ashamed for feeling what she was feeling and wanting what she was wanting but the part that wanted her child safe was stronger.

Jon looked at her with tenderness before bringing her body closer to his and placing a soft kiss into her forehead “Everything will be all right sweet Sansa, I promise you” He held her and she let herself be comforted by him, she wrapped her arms around his waist and basked in his clean scent and warm body.

Her heart was so conflicted, her heart had been thorn into pieces since the moment she felt Jon’s lips on hers. Who was she now? Sansa Stark or was she slowly becoming a Targaryen?


	12. For destruction ice is also great

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "From what I’ve tasted of desire I hold with those who favor fire. But if it had to perish twice, I think I know enough of hate to say that for destruction ice is also great and would suffice."

Sansa and Arya were sitting in the red haired Queen’s solar breaking their fast that slightly chilly morning of February; Jon was locked away in the library with his advisors and had been for two days and little Aegon was soundless sleep and being cared for by one of his nursemaids.

A frown of concern marred the pale skin of the queen while the younger girl sported a relaxed and content expression, one look at her let Sansa know that even though she refused to talk about her recent marriage Arya was being well taken care off and maybe even enjoying her time with her new husband.

“Do you think it is true?” Sansa asked after one particular long pause. A week had passed since Jon told her about the uprising against him and her mind had been troubled ever since.

Arya looked down at her food, unable to meet her sister’s stare “I don’t know Sansa… but I think it might be”

Sansa sighed “But why haven’t they wrote to us? ... Harry would have-“

“Harry must know you are now the mother of the future heir to the throne” Arya’s words were sharp but when she rose her eyes to meet hers Sansa saw nothing but kindness in them “No offense darling sister but you are not the most trusted ally for their cause now”

Sansa’s eyes welled with tears as she looked down “I mean no harm to anyone Arya” Her voice broke down as Harry’s face appeared inside her head, she felt like weeping when she thought about his blonde hair and kind blue eyes “I just want everyone to be alive and well… you know I could never desire something bad for Harry…he’s…”

“I know Sansa, I do know” Arya’s hand reached out to hers and squeezed softly “And knowing him as I know him I know Harry is aware of your predicament and wishes you no ill but the truth is your child is now a threat to their cause”

Sansa nodded at her sister, knowing she was true and a man as kind as Harry could never wish to harm her but she also knew very well that when war arrived sentimentalisms will stop mattering and her son will be seen as nothing but a threat.

Sansa huffed in despair as she stared at her sister, her hands clutching the other girl’s with more force than she intended “How come everything got so messed up Arya?”

Arya’s eyes were somber and her voice low when she answered “Power sweet sister, power makes people do stupid things”

Sansa closed her eyes briefly “If push comes to the shove… Jon will have to kill Harry and Robin right?”

“I am afraid he is” Arya whispered

“Oh God” Sansa released her sister’s hand and buried her face between her own. The only thing she wanted was for everyone to come out alive from this damn war that had been started. She couldn’t bear the thought of her cousin and his supporters killing her baby boy but she also couldn’t imagine what it would be if Jon killed her family. She needed to find a way to help them and stop all the violence that was coming their way “I need to talk to mother, know if she’s meddled in this”

Arya huffed as she rolled her eyes “Of course she has!”

Sansa twisted her hands in front of her, eyes frantic as she stared at her sister “I need to know what she knows, if there’s a way I can help to prevent all of this”

“Why would she say anything to you?” Arya asked softly “I don’t think Jon is going to take this well Sansa” Concern appeared on the young girl’s face and Sansa felt a rush of love towards her sister.

“He won’t know it Arya” She told her “I’ll be back before he is out of the library”

Arya shook her head in disapproval “I think this is a bad idea San”

Sansa sighed, she knew that it was most likely that her mother wouldn’t help her but she wouldn’t forgive herself if she didn’t do anything “I just have to try… will you cover for me?” Her voice was hopeful and worried at the same time.

“You know I will” Arya said with a roll of her eyes, reminding her so much of the wild young girl she seemed to be leaving behind every day “But Sansa… don’t let her get in your head”

The young Queen nodded; now that she was a mother herself she could understand so many things she didn’t before and wasn’t as naïve as she used to. She was not going to allow her to manipulate her once more, because this time she had her family to protect.

***

Sansa snuck out of the castle later that day; her heart was racing and her body shaking with fear as she rode towards Winterfell, the place was only a couple of hours away by horse so in no time she was standing in front of the place that was now residence to her mother.

With a deep breath Sansa greeted the servants and asked to be lead towards the gardens where she knew her mother was now at; the state was large and very beautiful and though being secluded was probably hard to her mother she was glad to know she was living in the best conditions.

When she found her, Catelyn was sipping tea in one of the chairs that faced the small lake in the back of the propriety “Sweet daughter what a surprise!” Her lips stretched into a smile as she regarded her older daughter before she stood up to envelop her into an embrace “I’ve missed you, how is little Aegon?”

Sansa smiled while thinking of her son “He is growing so fast and is healthy as ever” Her mother pulled away from her and held her hands as she smiled at her.

“That is good, he’s such a sweet baby” Sansa saw true care in her mother’s eyes and felt a stab on her chest at thinking of the distance that had grown between them in recent times.

“Yes he is” Sansa whispered she stared at her mother for a few minutes before taking a deep breath “Mother…”

Catelyn’s shoulders straightened as she dropped Sansa’s hands and moved again towards the chair from where she had stood up “Yes, Sansa?”

Sansa followed her “Are the rumors true?”

Catelyn took the tea cup on the table and took her to her lips with a nonchalance that frustrated Sansa “What rumors?”

Her lips thinned in a line as she sat down and faced her mother “You know which ones”

Catelyn placed her cup back on the table and rolled her eyes at her daughter “Believe it or not sweet girl, I am under house arrest I can’t learn much of anything”

Sansa breathed deeply, trying to reign on her anger before speaking “There’s an uprising… apparently Burgundy is supporting Robbin now… and they’ve claimed him as the only heir”

“Oh dear lord!” Catelyn said with a shock that at least on Sansa’s eyes didn’t appear to be honest “What has Jon done of all of this?”

Sansa clenched her jaw “Don’t know, he doesn’t tell me much”

“Oh Sansa, I’m so sorry” Her mother told her as she stretched her hand to grip hers “I had no idea it was going to happen so soon, I mean I imagined Robbin would make his move but not like this and so soon”

Sansa Stark was many things but fool was not one of them; which was why she could see that the concern on her mother’s eyes wasn’t true and that she wasn’t going to get anything out of her since she no longer considered her a trustworthy person.

“What am I to do mother?” She asked, making one last effort to pull some truth out of her mother.

“I couldn’t help you if I wanted child” Catelyn said with a dismissive gesture of her hand “I am completely useless here” The look on her eyes was innocent enough but Sansa could see the duplicity behind that perfect looking mask she was wearing.

“Jon will never let you leave” She said softly, turning her eyes to the lake stretching before her and sighing.

Catelyn took the cup of tea to her lips once away as she smiled coyly “I know that Sansa, but maybe I’ll have a strike of luck soon”

Sansa continued her visit to her mother with an uneasiness growing in the pit of her stomach; after an hour of exchanging pleasantries and updates on life at court she excused herself and got on her horse to ride back home.

On the ride back, as the crispy air caressed her face she couldn’t help but think how sad it was that she now found herself more comfortable in Jon’s presence than in her mother’s; the whole time Sansa was with her she had to be careful with her words and gestures for she might reveal something her mother could use against her. Was that how Jon felt every day? Having to be careful of everyone around him?

Sansa saw the towers of the castle rising in front of her and let out a sigh of relief at being back on safe ground, that was of course until she found her husband standing in front of the main gate, hurt shone in his eyes and his mouth was twisted in a scowl.

The young queen slowed down her horse as she approached him, he didn’t utter a word but allowed her to dismount and for one of the guards to take the horse, leaving them both completely alone.

Sansa walked towards him, body filled with dread and mouth parted as so to speak but before any word could come out of her mouth he spoke, his voice so full of contempt that it even made her flinch “Even you”

She shook her head fiercely “No, Jon this is not what you think”

He let out a sardonic laugh “You believe me stupid?” He questioned as he approached her “You think you’ll be able to leave this castle without me knowing?” His hard hazel eyes seemed to penetrate even her soul “I know where you’ve been Sansa and believe nothing has pained me so much before”

Sansa felt as if someone had punched her straight in the heart. The look on Jon’s face was enough to break her in pieces “No Jon, you got it all wrong!” She cried raising her hands to cup his cheeks but he pulled away before her touch could reach him.

“Do I?” He raised an eye brow in her direction “Because I just got war declared Sansa, your family is coming after me and my crown and the midst of all you’re sneaking away to your mother in order to keep plotting against me!” He was nearly shouting at her, yet his face seemed to be in complete control. At the moment Sansa could not see anything of the fire that seemed to burn in his veins, there was nothing but ice in his eyes and she realized that pained her even more.

She looked down “I just wanted to help!”

“Help who?” He told her curtly as he gripped her by the shoulders “You turned out to be as treacherous as the rest of them, waiting for me to turn my back in order to pluck the knife in there” He hissed in her face, tears gathered in her eyes at his harsh words and at believing he could think so low of her.

“No I am not” She shook her head as tears spilled from her eyes “You must believe me I am not” Her hands placed themselves in his chest and this time he didn’t pull away “I went there to help us, to see if she’s plotting with my uncle to help Robin, to see what she knows and if there was something that could help us”

He chuckled, without any trace of humor in his face “And well?”

Sansa let out an exasperated sigh “I don’t know! Because she wouldn’t tell me anything”

Jon rolled his eyes as he released her and moved back “How convenient”

Sansa’s tear stained eyes fixed him on his spot as she spoke “She doesn’t trust me anymore Jon because she saw it even before I saw it myself that I am a Targaryen now, the birth of Aegon makes me so whether I like it or not because I will never stand against him” Her voice quivered and he felt some of his anger ebbing away “Our son puts me on your side forever”

Jon broke his gaze from hers, eyes looking at the floor as he let out a defeated sigh “I wish I could believe that”

“Jon! Our family is all I have left” Sansa cried, once more moving to him and flinching when he pulled away from her touch “If you don’t trust me than I-“

He rose his hand in the air to cut her off “I need some time alone Sansa” He said softly before abruptly turning away from her and walking back inside of the castle.

“Jon, please” She whispered before completely breaking down in tears, right there on the castle gates. She felt so stupid, how could she believe this wasn’t going to get back and hurt her? Arya had been right all along; she hadn’t gained nothing and had managed to drift Jon away from her.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you're familiar with the White Princess you'll know from where I got that last scene and most of the dialogue on there, one of my favorite moments in the whole show. I really hope you're enjoying the story. Thanks a lot for reading.


	13. Before the devil knows you're dead

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "May good luck find you at your worst  
> And bad love lose you at your best"

The sheets were cold against her warm skin; outside her windows the wind had picked up an almost furious pace as it trashed the three branches against each other and gave the night an almost eerie feeling. The weight in her heart seemed to fit perfectly into the gloomy windy night, her eyes were closed as if she were to sleep but her mind refused to shut down and instead kept assaulting her with thoughts about her carelessness and the impending doom looming over her head.

Since the moment Jon’s betrayed eyes rested upon her she had felt her heart splitting in two but wasn’t she used to it already? Ever since the birth of her precious Aegon she had felt as if her heart was being ripped open by half; one part of her wanted to protect her family and to hold on to the naïve thoughts of love she professed to another man when she was young but there was other part of her who was fierce about protecting her child and the man who had somehow weaseled his way into her heart and was now making her think twice about what she thought to be love before him.

Sansa Stark sighed deeply as she buried her face into the lavender smelling cover of the sheets; she wished things could go back to being simple, like when she didn’t have to feel like a traitor on her own home, on her own body.

The sound of the heavy door cracking open startled her but when her ears adjusted to the dense sound of footsteps approaching she felt her body relaxing for she was already so attuned to the sound of those steps. With her heart feeling as if it was going to burst out of her chest she waited patiently as her husband climbed into the bed beside her, the weight of his body dipping the mattress as she remained stoic and with her eyes still closed.

His body curled around hers from behind as he buried his face into the crook of her neck, his beard providing a sensation so delightful against her skin that she felt her toes curling in response “Forgive me my dear” His words were low and they startled her more than anything ever could. “I’ve been a lousy husband haven’t I?”

“Jon…” She breathed out his name unable to find any other words to speak.

“Let’s hope I can be a better king” His right leg moved between hers and Sansa couldn’t suppress the low moan that left her lips at the feel of his muscular thigh next to her most private place “I feel like I can’t trust anyone, dear Sansa”

“Not even me”

He sighed sadly “Sometimes I feel I cannot” The arms around her waist tightened as he pulled her even closer “How could you chose me over your own family? Over the cause you were raised to defend”

Sansa’s hand rose to caress the arm that was holding her “Don’t you see Jon? It’s not about choosing you or them… it’s about choosing my son, our son” Her words were a desperate plea in the darkness of the night “Wasn’t that the reason you married me? You knew, your uncle knew and your aunt certainly knew that once I birthed one of your children there would be nothing that could make me turn against you” She felt his body lightly stiffen behind her “So I understand you lack of trust Jon because I too have been a pawn in all of this, moved around to whatever way my family or yours see fit”

“Sansa…” His words were charged with a regret she knew was etched into his very bones “I never wanted you to feel this way” He sighed as he turned her body around gently “When I first came here you were nothing but a name, a way to make my claim stronger but then…” His hand traced her cheekbone and she closed her eyes at the sensation “You have bewitched me, my young Queen and now I wish nothing but your happiness”

“Jon…”

“So you must forgive me for being a brute” He dropped his forehead into hers “I want to try harder Sansa… I want to trust you and I want you to trust me”

Instead of using her words to answer him Sansa took her hands to his hair and ran her fingers through his luscious curls before raising her lips to meet his. The mouths fused as he rolled them over so he could hover over her.

The need inside her body grew with every touch of his tongue against hers; his movements were frantic and sloppy, he tore apart the night shift of her body as if there wasn’t enough time for him to undress her. Sansa was burning with every touch of his fingers against her skin, with every word murmured in the darkness of the night, with every kiss he propelled on her body.

“You are only mine Sansa” He whispered in her ear as he disappeared inside her; words so objectifying that should have unnerved her only seemed to inflame the desire she felt growing inside her “Completely my own” The sound of their skin meeting each other overshadowed the trees rustling outside and as she rutted deep inside her while chanting her name Sansa was aware of nothing but the feel of him growing larger inside her, of his hips wildly slapping against hers and his fingers caressing her breasts as if they were the most precious of things.

“Jon…” She murmured as she felt the fire growing in her “Oh… Jon” His fingers found the place between her legs that send her over the edge and with just a flick he was showing her the stars behind closed eyelids. 

Afterwards, when the sweat was cooling off their skin and they lay tangled around each other he muttered words that shook her to her core once again that same night “I’m sorry for what my family did you sweet girl”

“What?”

He kissed her forehead “We took away your happiness without thinking twice about it and I wish I could do something to change it now…”

“But only one family can survive”

“I wish things were different” His arms tightened around her and she buried her face in his neck, wanting to forget about everything that was wrong in their world, wanting for just one night to forget about her last name and the burden that was to bear it.

“Can we not talk about it anymore?”

He seemed to sense the emotions clawing its way inside her for he kissed her forehead once again and whispered “Of course my queen, now why don’t you go to sleep. I’ll guard your dream tonight”

She smiled against his chest as she felt the exhaustion taking hold of her body “I would like that”

The wind continued to rustle the trees outside the windows but the night didn’t appear to be so dark and gloomy anymore. Not when the fire of the dragon burned around her.

*******

Jon sighed as he trained his eyes in the expanse of green land extending outside his window. He could hear the voices of her aunt and uncle going through their plan of action once again but he wasn’t really listening, he knew the plan by heart so he just tuned them out and let his mind wander to how beautiful Sansa had looked today in the morning as she lay sleeping in their bed.

“Jon, are you listening to what I’m saying?” Dany’s hard voice accompanied by her palm slamming the table made his attention move back to his family currently sitting on the table with him.

He sighed “Yes Dany, Viserys and I are to leave tomorrow at dawn and everything else is already well etched in my mind” His aunt’s purple eyes widened in fury at the condescending tone he had choose to use with her.

“I don’t think you realize how important the matter at hand is nephew” She bit out as Viserys placed a hand on top of hers to calm her down.

Jon’s eyebrows rose in response and he felt the anger rising inside him “Pardon me? You don’t think I know of how much importance is facing the one man people want to put on the throne instead of me?” His dark eyes glared at her “You forget my body is the one that will end up violated on the streets if I fail”

Daenery’s face paled at his words and Jon nearly asked for forgiveness when he saw the stony glare his uncle directed at him “We just want you to be prepared Jon” Viserys said.

“And I am” Jon answered, his tone softer now “Everything will work out, I promise”

Daenerys shook her head absently “Sometimes I wonder…”

“Wonder what?”

“If marrying Sansa was the right choice”

Jon frowned at his aunt “Why would you say that?”

She shook her head as she let out a deep sigh “I underestimated the girl’s allure” Jon’s jaw clenched at her words and she seemed to realize his discomfort immediately “Don’t get me wrong, I care for the girl and I think she is a wonderful queen but she is after all her mother’s daughter”

Jon took a deep breath to stop himself from lashing out at his aunt “And what does that mean?”

“She’s an enchantress; her strength isn’t physical but her deception could be more harmful than any blow” Viserys gave her a look that was meant to quiet her but the young woman didn’t want to be stopped “You’re already losing your head because of her, you need to get a grip Jon”

Jon let out a sardonically laugh as he stood up from his chair “Good night Dany, Viserys” He looked at both of them and raised a hand a stop sign when he saw his aunt wanted to keep speaking “It’s been a long day and tomorrow will be worst, I believe I deserve a good night sleep in case tomorrow might be my last day”

Without waiting for them to reply he strode out of the room and headed in direction of the chambers he shared with his wife.

Jon understood his aunt’s concern; it was the same doubt that sometimes kept him awake at nights. What if Sansa was only bidding her time? What if she wanted him exterminated in order to stablish her cousin on the throne and be happily ever after with Harry.

Those thoughts haunted him.

And yet whenever she trained those lapis lazuli eyes on him every sign of doubt flew away from his body, because those orbs were so transparent he swore he could see her soul in them. Perhaps it was naïve of him to think that way, perhaps he wanted so much to believe it was the truth that he allowed himself to see what he wanted to see but if there was a chance tonight was his last night he wanted to drown himself in that blissful ignorance once again.

That’s why when he walked inside his chambers and found her brushing her hair in the boudoir he didn’t think twice about sweeping her in his arms and kissing her senseless.

She was breathless by the time he parted from her; her cheeks were rosy and blue eyes widened as she regarded him “To what do I own this pleasure?” She asked cheekily.

Jon dropped his forehead against hers and breathed her in “I must part tomorrow”

She frowned “Part?”

Jon breathed deeply before taking her face between his hands and caressing her cheeks with his thumbs “Your cousin and I are meeting on the battlefield”

All color drained from her face, lips parted in complete horror “It can’t be” Her body was shaking as she stared him “You can’t do that Jon… you can’t” The horror clouded her face as she threw herself in his arms and clung to him for dear life “I can’t lose you… and I can’t lose him”

His arms tightened around her slender frame as he felt her body shaking from the force of the sobs that were coming from her throat “I know sweet girl, I know” He whispered the words and perhaps for the first time truly understood what she was feeling, because at the moment he too felt being ripped by half.  Wanting to end the war to secure his life and his son’s life but knowing that the only way to do that was breaking his wife’s heart. “I’m so sorry” He whispered as he took her in his arms and climbed into the bed with her.

Somehow between her sobs and his comforting arms their lips ended up meeting each other as they succumbed to the need to feel close with the other. With the shadow of death looming upon them they gave into their passion like never before, joined together as if it had been meant to be all along.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry for taking so long! I promise updated will come sooner now, thanks a lot for reading!


	14. Not all who ander are lost

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "All that is gold does not glitter, Not all those who wander are lost; The old that is strong does not wither, Deep roots are not reached by the frost"

Sansa closed her eyes as she clutched the beads of her rosary tightly on her hand; the imposing wooden image of the Christ in front of her offered comfort to her soul in the hard times. Days had passed since her husband trotted away from her and in that time she had heard no news from him, she knew he was alive and well because of letters his aunt had received, Sansa tried not to be bitter about the fact he chose to write to the silver haired woman and not to her but she couldn’t help the feelings of rejection growing in her body at the thought of it.

She felt hopeless and scared of the unknown; she was helpless in the face of the war, so she did the only thing she could. She prayed, prayed for her husband to come back home safe and prayed for her cousin and Harry to survive as well, she wondered idly if someday the feeling of being torn at half would vanish from her body or if she was forever doomed to wander the world feeling like two different people.

The echo of footsteps on the marble floor made her open her eyes and turn her head slightly. Surprise colored her face when she saw Daenerys walking inside the chapel, lately it seemed that the older woman did everything in her power to stay away from her so it was strange to her to see her willingly going somewhere she was at.

“What do you pray for, my queen?” Daenerys asked as she lowered herself to her knees right next to Sansa, it didn’t go unnoticed to the younger girl how the words ‘my queen’ came out from her mouth with condescending disdain.

Sansa’s eyes focused on the figure of the Christ rising above her “I pray for Jon to return victorious”

“And your cousin, do you pray for his life?”

She took a deep breath, knowing fully well that the other woman wanted only to rile her up. It was a strange relationship the one she had with Jon’s aunt, a minute it seemed they were close and the next one they were enemies “I pray for no bloodshed”

“Naïve to think that way, in the midst of war” The other woman whispered “I have my doubts about you”

Sansa’s eyes snapped to look at her “Pardon me?”

“I don’t really know how to read you Sansa” Daenerys purple eyes looked at her hardly “One minute I am sure of your loyalty and the next one I fear your influence on my nephew”

Sansa’s jaw clenched at the implication on the other woman’s words “You know I would never do something to hurt him”

“I know you would never do something to hurt your son. I can’t be sure about my nephew” She told her with pure disdain dripping from her words, Sansa felt her chest rising with barely contained anger as she stared at her.

“I-“

“Do you know I had a son once?” The tone of Daenerys voice changed, it became soft and melancholic “I was married when I was thirteen to a man of twenty six; I was just a child when I lay on his bed for the first time”

“I’m sorry”

“Don’t be. I loved him” Something resembling a smile played on her lips, Sansa wasn’t sure since she had never seen something similar on her face before “He was big, powerful, imposing but with me… he was the sweetest man in the world. I felt so lucky to be blessed with him” The affection on her voice was evident and Sansa felt incredibly sorry for her without knowing why “He and I would leave on extended trips to France where Jon was in exile, he taught my nephew how to fight, how to be a man. He was a father to him because I didn’t seem to be able to have children”

“I’m sorry” Sansa whispered but the other woman didn’t seem aware of her words, she was somewhere else, somewhere far away where happiness was possible.

“But I did conceived… a dark haired babe with purple eyes” Her eyes twinkled in a way Sansa had never seen “His name was Rhaego and during the time he lived he was the sunshine of my life”

Sansa gulped, fearing to ask her next question “What happened?”

“He was frail and sick… he lived less than six months and I was never able to conceive again” Daenerys looked down, the shadow of grief covering her face completely “And then my Drogo died… and all my hopes went with him, because when you love like that… happiness just doesn’t seem possible anymore”

Sansa felt her heart aching at seeing the pain reflecting on the other woman’s face. At imagining her life with Jon and her son gone “I am truly sorry. I had no idea”

Daenerys took a deep breath and composed herself before raising her eyes to her once again, giving her the sharp look she was so used to “I am only ten years older than Jon Sansa, but he is my son in every way that matters. And I will fight tooth and nail to protect him”

Sansa nodded, it was no secret that the older woman cared about her nephew dearly and now knowing her story Sansa could see why it was so important to her to keep Jon alive “I understand that”

“And that’s why I know you’ll do the same for your child. Because there is nothing stronger than the love of a mother”

“You are right about that”

Daenerys tilted her head to the side, her eyes questioning as she regarded her “What would you do if Jon went to fail?”

A frown marred the red haired girl’s forehead “I think you know I would succumb with him”

“Will you?” The other woman asked “Your cousin has high stem for you and I know his counselor too. If they made you a deal… I know that if he were to allow your son to live you will choose him over Jon”

“You know nothing your grace” Sansa bit out “For Jon is now my family too. And I am not stupid enough to believe my cousin would allow my son to live, it’s the way the world it is”

Sansa was no delusional enough to believe her son would be allowed to live if Robin took the throne, he would be a threat to his reign forever, just like his brothers were to Petyr’s. Robb had been hanged for treason and Bran was murdered while he was locked away in the tower… her child would suffer the same faith and she was no stupid enough to believe otherwise.

“Indeed” The other woman said as her eyes moved to the Christ in front of them “You might not be as naïve as I believe” She whispered “I don’t believe what frightens me more”

No more words were spoken as they resumed their prayers in silence, yet for Sansa it felt like there were still so many words left unsaid.

***

Later that same day Sansa lowered her sleeping son into his basinet and frowned when she saw her younger sister walking into her chambers and sitting down on the bed. Arms crossed in front of her chest and a worried looked etched into her face “You don’t look fine” Sansa murmured after kissing her son’s forehead and stepping away from him.

“Of course I am not” The other girl huffed, eyes focused on the burning hearth “I have no news of my husband” Her fiery eyes suddenly moved towards her as she rose an accusing finger in her direction “This is your fault you know”

Sansa’s eyebrows shot up in surprise “Pardon me?”

“You married me to that stupid man” Arya muttered “Who happens to be sweet and gentle and who would even take time to spar with me instead of telling me only men do that” There was a slight tremble on her sister’s voice and Sansa felt her heart squeezing in her chest at the sound.

“So I am guilty of marrying you to a good man” She asked as she moved to sit next to her.

“Yes!” Arya nearly shouted but composed herself when Aegon stirred in his bassinet “Because now I care about him and have to see him go to war against our cousin who I also happen to love” The girl said in a low voice now, her eyes watering as the focused on the hearth once more.

Sansa nodded as she dropped her head into her little sister’s shoulder “I am sorry. I understand” She had been so focused on her own pain and fear that she didn’t have taken the time to think that Arya was in the same position as her, both married to the opposition.

“I heard Daenerys speak with her brother” Arya whispered after they had spent a couple of minutes in silence “Mother is going to be judged”

“What?” Sansa asked.

“She knew about the Burgundy plot… she is going to be condemned as a traitor” Arya was barely able to get the words out. She had never been particularly close to her mother since she never did what the other woman expected of her but she loved her and hated to see how she was destroying herself.

Sansa closed her eyes tightly as she found her sister’s hand and gripped it “Why would she keep doing that?”

“I think her need for vengeance is too much” Arya answered.

Sansa felt her eyes welling with tears as she whispered “She’ll get herself killed”

Arya nodded silently “How did we end up here San?”

Sansa remained in silence for a couple of minutes; she knew what sister was referring too, once they were just happy children playing around the halls of this same castle, with lives full of greatness ahead of them and now her entire family had crumbled down “I truly don’t know sister. But it would work out in the end” Sansa squeezed Arya’s hand “It has to”

Arya chuckled sadly “I wish I could be as positive as you”

The older sister sighed deeply “Oh dear Arya, if only you knew”

Those words kept repeating themselves on her head long after her sister departed from her chambers, when she stared at outside the window and let her eyes get lost in the darkened sky. A hand rested above her belly, feeling the life she already knew was growing inside.

She loved her cousin and Harry dearly, she didn’t want to see them fail but that night she prayed to God for her husband to succeed in battle for if he lost there would be no more life for her and her children. 

 


	15. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I wish the ring had never come to me. I wish none of this had happened."
> 
> "So do all who live to see such times. But that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us. There are other forces at work in this world Frodo, besides the will of evil. Bilbo was meant to find the Ring. In which case, you were also meant to have it. And that is an encouraging thought."

She was dreaming; the conscious part of her brain told her it was impossible for this to be real since she was running around with her siblings while their father chased after them on the castle’s gardens. She was no longer a woman but a mere child who laughed and laughed without a care in the world while her mother observed them with a slight smile on her face from where she was sitting.

Sansa knew this was nothing more than a dream and yet she was happier than she had been in a long long time. She was carefree, completely oblivious to the cruel ways of the world, but most importantly she was with her family; the family that had been ripped away from her so cruelly in the midst of war.

When she woke up, tears stained her soft cheeks. The happiness and joy that had filled her body mere seconds ago evaporated and in its place a deep sense of longing and sadness took root. She cried against the pillows as she let go of the remains of her dream, of that family that once upon a time had been hers but that now it was nothing but a memory.

Once she calmed herself enough and was once again with her feet back on reality she was able to hear the commotion outside her window; she cleaned her tear stained cheeks and stood up from the bed before going to the window overseeing the gardens. A gasp left her lips when she saw horses and soldiers scattered around the castle grounds, soldiers bearing her husband’s sigil.

Dread coiled in the pit of her stomach as she turned around in direction of the door. So many different scenarios where already playing in her head and she wouldn’t be able to stand not knowing the outcome for much longer. But she wasn’t able to ever leave her chambers because the door burst open and Jon stood at the threshold looking every bit the warrior he was.

Sansa sucked on a breath at his appearance; he was dirty from his trip, with remains of blood still clinging to his clothes and body; his hair had abandoned the bun he sometimes sported and his curls were now free and matted around his shoulders, but his eyes were what startled her the most, they were feral and dangerous; two dark pools burning up as if a dragon itself lived inside them.

Now she understood why her husband was called The Welsh Dragon.

“Jon…” She breathed out as he started moving towards her.

“Your cousin is alive, dear Sansa” He muttered, low on his throat. The young Queen felt both relief and dread at his words; her cousin was alive which made joy grow in her heart and yet because he was alive she knew this war was far from over.

“…Jon”

“I’ve been away for too long now Sansa” His rugged and dirty hands took hold of her face and her eyes closed at the feel of his closeness “Don’t deny me”

“I wouldn’t dream of” She answered truthfully before he took her lips in a searing kiss. Sansa gasped into his mouth as the ardor of his kiss surprised her, Jon was nothing more than a passionate force wanting to possess her; he touched and bit, he took and took everything she was willing to give him and everything she was not.

They fell on the bed in a tumble of ripped clothes and burning touches; he moved inside her with reckless abandon, wanting to brand himself into her body and her soul. Wanting to take everything from her, made her desire nothing but him; he wanted to be the one center of her world, more important than her cousin, her mother and everything she once held dear.

“Oh Jon” She moaned as he feasted on her breast. Mouth seeking and tasting, he cherished and trashed her body at the same time; Sansa burned with a passion she had never felt before, her nails drew blood on his back as she allowed that feral force that burned in him to consumed her as well. And when they finally reached their peaks and gave into sensations, Sansa saw nothing but Jon, she wanted nothing but Jon.

She was his completely and nothing was going to make her turn back now.

***

Hours later Jon was soaking into the tub on their chambers while Sansa washed him. His hair was clean now and sticking to the back of his neck as she rubbed the cloth all over his chest “What happened?” She asked in a whisper, they hadn’t spoke at all about what had happened while he was away and she was even afraid to ask. She had news to share with him as well but believed that perhaps it was better they were told until later, when the shadow of the war was no longer lurking above them.

Jon sighed, his eyes closing as he threw his head back “It wasn’t Robin”

Sansa’s hand stopped at mid movement as she stared at him “Pardon me?”

Jon’s jaw clenched in a way she knew it had to be painful “Burgundy and your uncle played us” He spat “He was a bakers son, a simple commoner”

Sansa managed to control the gasp that wanted to leave her mouth. Her mother had risked her life only to support a baker’s boy, was she aware that the boy wasn’t Robin? She would rather to support a commoner just to spite her husband instead of support her own grandchild? “So… Robin has never been in contact with you?”

“Not even once”

“Dear Lord” Sansa whispered. A foolish and naïve part of her hoped Robin would stay in hiding forever, that him and Harry could find happiness somewhere else and never return to England.

Jon’s eyes snapped open. Obvious hurt and confusion clouding his chocolate orbs “I’ve done everything Sansa” He whispered to her “I’ve been good to them; I lowered the taxes, I visit them, I listen to their queries every week and I’ve given them the Queen they desired” She tried not to flinch at his words, not to let him see how much it hurt her to remember she had been nothing to him but a piece on the game he was playing “Why isn’t that enough?”

“Jon…”

“Why they choose to support a boy who is clearly not your cousin instead of me” A blush crawled from his neck to his cheeks, letting her now how aggravated he was with the whole situation “God, they weren’t even the same age” He let out a sardonic laugh “Why can’t they chose me?”

Sansa felt her heart squeezing in her chest at his words and the hopelessness in his eyes “They don’t know my love” She whispered as she dropped the cloth into the water and took her hands to his cheeks “They don’t want to see what a great man you are and what a marvelous King you’ve become. They prefer to keep holding onto old grudges”

Jon moved his hand so they rested on hers, right on his cheeks “You are the only good thing in my life Sansa”

The young Queen took a deep breath before asking the one question she had been meaning to make all night “Then why didn’t you write?” She whispered “You wrote to your aunt but never to me”

His eyes softened as he stared at her “I didn’t want to think of you”

“How can you say that to me?” She flinched, hands dropping from his face “How can you? When all I could think off was you” Her voice broke down and Jon moved forward to bring her face closer to his once again.

“You don’t get it Sansa… if I allowed myself to think on your face…on your smile I would never be able to kill your cousin… to bring so much pain to you” His thumb stroked her cheek and she leaned into his touch like a pet looking comfort from its master.

“Oh Jon…” She whispered.

“You have more power over me than you think my love, I cannot allow my emotions to rule me” He forced her chin up; he wanted to see her eyes when he murmured his next words “You know I must sentence your mother for her involvement in this, right?”

Sansa’s eyes welled with tears “I do”

“I am so sorry” Jon said as he dropped his forehead into hers.

“Jon…”

“I wish there was another way” He told her softly as he felt the tears starting to dampen her cheeks. Her lithe body heaved as the sobs went through it “I wish I didn’t have to hurt you this way” He exited the tub and took her into his arms before laying her down on the bed; there he let her cry all night. His body curled around hers as if that way somehow he could protect her from all the hurt that was coming her way.

***

The next morning they were both sitting next to each other on the throne room as their most trusted nobles and high ranking soldiers celebrated what Jon liked to call a victory. Sansa was wearing a highly ornamented crimson dress and the most beautiful golden crown graced her red locks; Jon looked polished and completely different from the man she met a night ago, right now only a couple of purple bruises on his face remained as witness of the battle he had been part of.

“This victory wouldn’t have been able without all of you” A triumphant smile, which Sansa knew to be completely fake, graced his lips as he looked down on his subjects “Burgundy was barely able to drew out their swords, because we cut through them like butter”

The crowd cheered and Sansa found her sister’s eyes among the people; she was sure they both shared the same troubled and sad eyes at the moment, waiting patiently for the moment the axe dropped in their mother’s head.

“Now all that is left is to celebrate next to my loyal people” He rose the golden goblet he was holding in the air and gulped happily as he watched the people in front of them “But of course, we must decide what to do with our traitors first”

His eyes went to the small boy who was standing in front of him, guarded by two terrifying looking guards, the kid was barely ten years old and Sansa wondered who could have been so foolish in mistaking him for Robin. “First we have this boy, a baker’s son, who rallied the great Burgundy’s armies against me and then we have our Dower Queen who once more though it would be wise to try to murder me”

Sansa felt her heart beating a mile a minute on her chest, her eyes filled with tears she refused to shed as she stared at the blood hungry people in front of her, people that once cheered at her mother and who now were claiming her life.

“Should we punish them?” Jon said with power dripping from his every word, in this moment no one could have questioned he was the true king. The crowd cheered in shouts of yes “We all know that the punishment for treason is death” The crowd cheered once again and Sansa couldn’t help but move her eyes to the terrified child in front of her “Does someone here opposes to such punishment?”

The crowd remained in silence and Sansa closed her eyes in pain at seeing the trembling body of the boy “Please your grace” He murmured in a broken sob. Sansa tried to school her features into the mask of nonchalance she was forced to wear but almost failed when she opened her eyes once again and saw the boy’s stare filled with tears.

“I oppose your grace” The voice came from the crowd, and all eyes turned to Duke Gendry, who had uttered the words “He’s just a kid”

“And what of the mother of our beloved Queen?” Jon asked while directing a sideway glance towards Sansa. The crowd remained in silence, Sansa was sure that the only sound at the moment was the blood pumping through her veins.

Jon nodded as he scanned the silent crowd, his eyes stopping in the figure of the scrawny boy in front of him “Duke Gendry speaks the truth; our traitor is nothing but a child. A boy who as of today will be working in the kitchens and who should be thankful he no longer has to return to a father who sold him for a keg of ale”

Sansa let out a relieved sigh as she watched the thankful tears fall from the boy’s eyes “Jon…”

“And as for you…” His head went in her direction, eyes hard as steel as he looked down at her “You may tell your mother on your next visit that the King is alive and in good health… and that he sends his regards”

The crowd erupted in mocking laughter, disrespecting her mother once again but Sansa did not mind. She reached to Jon’s hand without caring it wasn’t proper behavior “Thank you Jon” She whispered only for his ears as she squeezed his hand “Thank you”

His eyes softened and he gifted her with a small smile. Daenerys watched the exchange with a furrowed brow, she feared Jon was making decision based only on his heart and that was going to end up blowing in their faces eventually.


	16. A love that was more than love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "We loved with a love that was more than love"

Sansa Stark’s smile was radiant as she watched her family gathered in the great hall for the Christmas celebrations. Her eldest son Aegon was with his father and Duke Gendry by the window, departing with noblemen while they tried to gently ease him into his role as the heir; Henry, her four year old son, had every woman and children of the room charmed with his antics, there was yet to be someone in the kingdom who could resist the allure of the boy; there was also Arya and her two daughters who were trying to sneak away the food without anyone noticing; even Daenerys and Viserys were enjoying the celebration, dancing happily to the tunes played by the musicians.

The only one missing from the celebration was Sansa’s mother, it was the fifth Christmas she missed because she wasn’t allowed anywhere near the King, not since she tried to killed him although Sansa was still allowed to visit her and take the children to her. Years had not been kind to Catelyn Stark, after her last failure and the complete disappearance of Harry and Robin from the map, she had withered away; with no reason left to fight she had given up all the strength she was once held. Sansa felt sorry for her, her heart squeezed painfully in her chest whenever she saw her haunted blue eyes and the greys of her hair, but she knew it had been her own doing; she chose to be miserable instead of embracing the joy that had been given to them.

The young queen took her hands to her prominent belly and sighed in content, with almost eight months pregnant she was supposed to be in confinement a long time ago but she would have hated to miss the Christmas celebrations like she did when she carried Aegon, so Jon had allowed her to delay her confinement for a couple of weeks, something Lady Daenerys hadn’t approved.

“You did a good job your grace” Sansa heard the soft voice of her sister and realized she was no longer by the tables but on her side, a sly smirk on her lips.

Sansa smiled and laced her arm with her sister’s, in a loving gesture “I did, didn’t I?” She whispered while looking at the decorations around the room and the happiness reflected on everyone’s gazes.

Arya sighed loudly, her arm tightening around her sister’s “When will you go see her?”

Sansa’s smile disappeared from her face, a shadow crossing her features “Tomorrow, I’m locking myself in the tower in two days’ time”

Arya twisted her mouth in a disapproving mock “Awful, God knows that is the worst part of carrying a child” Sansa chuckled slightly and the sisters remained in silence for a couple of minutes. Absorbing the joy around them, their children playing around in the same way they did once, how much things had changed since those happy days.

 “She is getting worst isn’t she?” Arya asked, her voice the one of a small child and not the grown woman she was.

Sansa felt her eyes filling with tears “I’m afraid so. I don’t think she’ll last much longer”

“Good”

“Arya!” The older stark hissed at her sister, an outraged look on her face.

The other sister smiled sadly “I’m not saying this in a bad sense dear sister, but maybe that way she can finally be at peace” Arya swallowed deeply, suddenly too emotional to talk “With father at least”

Sansa’s features softened “I hope so” She squeezed her sister’s arm tightly “I truly hope so”

And she truly did. She wished her mother could be finally let go of all the resentment in her heart and reunite with her father and the sons she loved so much, she wished Harry and Robin were far away and happy, safe where nothing could touch them and she wished for a long life full of happiness for her and her children.

She wished for many things and hoped God was kind enough to grant her wishes.

* * *

 

A couple of hours later, after the party had died down and the tiredness was too much to bear, the young queen made a quick round to make sure her children were sleeping safe and sound in their bedrooms and went to her own chambers to soak in a nice hot bath.

It felt marvelous to have her aching limbs relaxing and her skin perfumed with the soft scents of the water, once she was over, she put on her night shift with the help of her loyal Mya and was in the middle of brushing her long hair when her husband walked in, a little flair on his steps and stars in his eyes, a sign that he had drunk maybe a bit too much.

“Are you tired sweet girl?” He asked as he stood behind where she was sitting, his hands going to her shoulders and kneading her aching muscles.

Sansa moaned and threw her head back, eyes finding his dark ones “You can’t imagine how much”

One corner of his mouth tipped up in a smile “You are supposed to be in bed by now” He leaned down and pressed a kiss to her cheek before inhaling in the soft lavender smell of her skin “They were all wondering, why you’re not in confinement yet”

“Oh I am sure they are” Sansa muttered

“What’s that tone about?”

She sighed with annoyance as she stood up from the chair “All the lords want me locked away and unable to move so they can parade their young daughters to you, so you can chose your mistress”

He chuckled and reached to her, her back to his front “Jealousy suits your perfectly sweetling” The words were whispered in her ear, his hand resting gently a top of her large belly “You know I’ve never wished mistresses, you are the only one who I crave” His hand went upwards towards her full breasts, if there was something he loved about her pregnancies were how big her breast got, it drove him mad “Who I desire more than anyone”

Sansa couldn’t help but moan and rub her behind against his hardened front “Should we be doing this?”

He traced the column of her neck with his tongue “I don’t know my love, should we?”

Whatever was about to come from her lips was interrupted with the sound of knocking on their door, Jon cursed and continued caressing her, making his best in ignoring whoever was on the other side but soon the alarmed voice of his aunt reached his ears and he knew it would be impossible to continue with his actions.

 “This better be important” He muttered under his breath before releasing his wife and making sure they were both presentable enough to receive their guest.

Daenerys wasn’t alone, Viserys was with her and they carried dreadful news.

The four of them sat on the table near the fireplace as they contemplated the content of the letter that arrived a few minutes earlier, the messenger had ran away before anyone could ask any questions.

“It can be falsified, like it was before” Viserys offered, a concerned frown marrying his forehead

Daenerys sighed impatiently, her blue eyes burning as she stared at the parchment above the table “It has to be, why that boy would want to reclaim the throne now after so long. You have heirs now, with Stark blood in their veins”  

Jon chuckled darkly as he leaned back on his chair “You didn’t read it correctly aunt; Robin is not claiming the throne…. They’re claiming Bran Stark is alive”

Sansa’s eyes were trained on the letter resting at the table, hands shaking whenever she remembered the words read earlier “It can’t be” She whispered “Bran died, Baelish killed them we are sure of it”

Her brother had died after Peter Baelish took the power, after Robb perished at his hands as well… she would have known, she would have known if Bran was alive.

Daenerys shook her head in impatience as she stood up “This is a ruse, they’re trying to control us, put fear in us” A sardonic laugh left her lips “This probably isn’t even written by Hardying”

“it is” Sansa stated and three pairs of eyes flew towards her

“What?”

She breathed deeply, distress written all over her face “I do not know if what they say about Bran is true, I highly doubt it but the letter was written by Harry”

“You sure?” Viserys asked softly

She stared at the parchment and closed her eyes “I could never forget- it is his” she said with conviction, no one refuted her words.

Viserys and Daenerys didn’t stay for much longer; they promised to investigate more and advised them to get some sleep for they were sure they will need it with the things that were coming.

Sansa knew there was something off with her husband the minute the doors closed behind their guest, his back was stiff and she could his clenched jaw “Jon…”

“He wrote to you” He stated, fist clenching and unclenching at his sides.

“Pardon me?”

He breathed deeply through his nose, his body nearly shaking with rage “While he was away, before you married me, he used to write to you”

“Yes”

He chuckled with no trace of amusement “You know his calligraphy by memory then”

“Jon…” Sansa reached to touch him but he caught her hands midair, grasping them in his own.

“Do you feel for him still?” He asked with an urgency she had not seen in him before.

She shook her head “Of course not”

“Don’t lie to me Sansa” He bit out and released her hands, his own going to her hips while he dropped his forehead into hers “You’re a Targaryen now, you belong only to me”

“I know” She answered and felt his hand touching her belly, their child moving at the feel of his father.

A smile full of wonder appeared on his face as his child moved, a remainder that the woman in his arms was truly his “Tell me you love me”

She looked at him in disbelief “Are you being serious?”

He breathed in and ghosted his lips over hers “Tell me Sansa”

She closed her eyes and whispered “I love you”

“I’m never letting anyone take you away from me” His lips moved across her cheeks until he reached her ear “Not even your own brother”

Dread settled in her stomach at his words.

How was she in this position again?

Was she going to be torn between two  families forver?

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, yes I'm back! I really hope you like this chapter and please forgive me for any grammar mistakes english is not my prime language. 
> 
> P.S Of course I couldn't change the name of the infamous Henry Tudor!


	17. Try

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just because it burns  
> Doesn't mean you're gonna die  
> You've gotta get up and try, and try, and try

Jon stared down at the maps and letters scattered on the table in front of him; the night had crept in a long time ago and everyone in the castle was asleep except him, even his aunt and uncle had retired to their chambers and left him alone.

Jon wished he could sleep but he was restless, had been that way since the letter that claimed the only Stark heir was still alive had reached him; everything from that moment had been a swirl of chaos, having to look over his shoulders in case someone close to him may planned to betray him, Jon hated to feel so powerless.

In the midst of the turmoil of the Stark heir being supposedly alive, his wife had gone into an early labor while he was away in some negotiations and had given birth to a red-haired baby girl named Alys; the King hated the fact that he had missed the birth, though his wife continued reassuring him most Kings were never present on the birth of their children.

Jon felt like he hadn’t been able to take a break and now the supposedly Bran Stark had gained power by announcing his betrothal to an Italian noblewoman, allowing him to gain even more supporters, Jon feared for his family more than for himself and it was for them that he was doing everything in his power to stop that impostor to achieve his goal. 

“Soon the bags below your eyes are going to reach your cheeks” The soft voice of Sansa made his attention snap towards the door of his private quarters where he found her looking like an angel.

“What are you doing awake?” He whispered as his eyes roamed over the length of her; her hair was unbound and falling graciously down her back, leaving the cleavage of  her night shift completely exposed to his gaze. His body heated up in yearning at the sight of her and in anger at the thought of anyone else at the castle seeing her like that.

“The baby was hungry”

She moved towards him at the same time he went to her, his arms finding her and pressing her into his body, the sweet smell of her invading his senses as he breathed in her hair “Is she asleep now?” He asked as he nuzzled into her and felt her gentle hands going at the curls in his hair “I fear I’m not spending as much time with her as I did with the boys”

“These are difficult times”

“They are” He said thinking back at the parchment on his table that announced the betrothal of Brandon Stark, the one he hadn’t show his wife yet “I love her very much”

The moment his red haired daughter was placed on his arms Jon had felt a burst of love so pure an intense like nothing before and the fear of what might come to be of her and his other children if he were to fail made his blood run cold.

“I know you do, most Kings wouldn’t be as thrilled as you to have a baby girl” Sansa placed her hands on each side of his face and brought it closer to her, his eyes boring into hers.

“Well I am, and I promise to veil for her all my life” Jon stated passionately before dropping his forehead so it could rest on hers “I will never allow her any pain, not like they did you”

When he first found out he was now the father of a daughter he couldn’t help but think of his wife and how young and naïve she had been when first brought into his life, how she had been nothing but a pawn to her family and his and he swore to never allow such pain to his daughter.

“It was all worthy” Sansa told him before kissing him softly, and the love and tenderness Jon felt in it was enough to put his heart at ease even for a few minutes.

He nuzzled into her neck, his beard scratching her and leaving angry red marks on her pale skin but she delighted on his touch; her mouth parted and she released a little whimper as his fingers skimmed through the tender nubs that were her nipples.

“I sort of miss seeing you with child” His voice was hoarse as he whispered into her ear, his hand now resting on top of her now almost flat belly.

Sansa laughed softly and placed her hand on top of his “Don’t get any ideas your grace” She interlaced their fingers and moved their hands so they now rested above her heart “I need some rest after three children”

The corners of his lips tipped up in a smile “But, maybe one in the future?”

Sansa looked up into his dark eyes and felt warmness spreading into her stomach “We’ll see” She sighed and tipped her head up so she could reach his mouth “Come to bed Jon”  She asked, her breath caressing his lip.

He took a strand of her hair on his fingers and looked down at her with adoration “Is there anything you may ask from me that I’ll refuse?”

She took his hand and guided him to their chambers.

* * *

 

The next day Jon was up and on his quarters before the sun rose, a war was brewing and he knew he was to be ready for it; Sansa had appeared at the door just like the night before briefly to inform him she was to go ridding with Arya and her daughters and he had send her away with a gentle kiss and the promise of a night below the sheets.

It had taken him almost half an hour to concentrate after she left but once he did he had managed to design a plan of war he hoped to show his uncle before his queen had returned but life had once again showed him there was no use making plans for it was his uncle who went to find him.

“I think you might want to see this, your grace” He said as he walked inside, his usually pale skin looking ashen as he handed him a piece of folded parchment “We managed to intercept it before it reached its destiny”

Jon took the piece of paper with a frown and started reading.

**_My dearest Sansa_ **

**_I write this with every bone in my body shivering from fear, fear from this not getting to you, fear of not being able to compel in words what I feel, fear of you finding my words nothing but void._ **

**_I am aware that a long time has passed since the last time I was able to smell your hair, to touch your soft lips and see the way those blue diamond’s shine in wonder as they stare at me. I know that you now have a life away from everything we once dreamed, that you have birthed three children for the King and that by all intents and purposes you are now unreachable to me._ **

**_But, you remember when you weren’t, my sweet Sansa?_ **

**_Remember when we used to run away to the country and ride on horses every day, you remember the crowns of flowers in your hair and the poems I used to write to you. They are still fresh in my memory as I hope they are in yours, so now, in honor of those memories I ask only for a response my love, a chance to read you and if you are willing a chance to meet again._ **

**_I trust that if you wish you to meet me, the way will come to you._ **

**_Yours always,_ **

**_Harry_ **

The paper crumbled underneath his heavy hands “I want her trunks vacated” He hissed, jaw clenched as he looked at his uncle.

“Your grace-“

Jon interrupted Viserys with a raised hand “I want every inch of her chambers examined”

The older man nodded and left the room with a bow; Jon looked down at the parchment on his hands and every other thing lying on his table and threw them away with a strangled cry.

It was hours later that he sat on his wife’s chambers with a pint of ale on his hands, the whole place around him shattered to the grounds; the sun had set a long time ago and only the light from the hearth illuminated him.

Sansa had send a messenger to let him know she and Arya had gone to the market after their expedition and that they were already on their way back, he could barely wait for the time to have her in his arms again, with him and with no one else.

The minute he heard the door his eyes snapped towards the entrance “What on Gods earth happened here?” The young queen whispered as she looked around the mess of her chambers, her eyes seemed to roam everywhere else until they reached him, on a chair by the window “Are you drunk?”

He chuckled “I don’t know **_my love_** , am I?” He made sure to emphasize the pet name, the one her lover had written down.

“Jon…”

She moved to approach him but stopped instantly when he rose from the chair; the power that emanated from him made her stop where she was and wait cautiously as he went to her “Did you like it? When he called you that way” He asked and realization finally dawned on her “He speaks of you that way in every single one of this”

Sansa was finally able to see the papers on his hands as he threw them at her feet, there on the floor was every single letter Harry had ever wrote to her since the age they turned thirteen.

The queen looked down horrified at the scattered remains on her old life shattered on the floor “How did you-“

He barked out a sardonic laugh “This came today, especially for you” He handed her a letter she hadn’t seen before and as she red she understood the reason for his outburst “If I hadn’t intercepted them, would you have meet with him?”

“I wouldn’t”

“Liar!” He shouted as he threw the cup on his hands towards the wall “You were writing silly little things with him even after our wedding” The veins of his neck popped with each word, the fire burning in his eyes made her remember why they called him the dragon.

“It was one letter and I still-“

“You still what? Didn’t feel anything for me?” He gripped her by the shoulders, each one of his words dripping with despair “Do you feel anything for me now my love?” His mouth twisted in a scowl at the pet name.

Her own eyes turned furious at the accusation “Stop it, you know I do” She said as she shrugged from his arms and moved towards the window, trying to put distance between them.

“I pray for the day I have him in front of me” He spoke from behind her, his words were cold and void of emotion, Sansa felt her stomach coiling with fear at the tone of them “I will twist his neck with my own hands”

She took a trembling hand to rest on her chest “Don’t speak of such things Jon”

Sansa no longer loved Harry, not in the way she did before but there was a part of her heart that was always going to be of him, the one of a naïve girl who once had everything she dreamed; she was no longer that girl but she still held so much love for her and everyone who were part of her life.

The idea of Harry dying was simply unbearable.

“Why not?” He whispered, his breath trickling her neck “Because you miss his touch, his lips” His arms sneaked around her waist and pulled her to him; despite herself Sansa found she couldn’t quite resist him and leaned back into his chest.

“Stop it” She whispered not sounding very convincing him as he trailed kisses down her neck, his hands busy uniting the front of her dress

“You are only mine” He whispered as he freed her breasts from their confinement and filled his hands with them, Sansa moaned as she felt the place between her legs getting damp with desire.

“I know”

Jon ripped open the bodice of her dress and got rid of her skirts at the same time he unfastened his breaches “Oh my…” Sansa’s body trembled in anticipation as he moved her towards the four-poster bed and made her grip one of them.

“You’ve only been mine” He whispered roughly as he sunk into her from behind, she released a yelp of surprise at the harshness of it but moaned once his hands went to play with her sensitive breasts once again “We belong together, you and me and no one else”

“Jon…”

He pounded into her, the sounds of their skin meeting each other filling his ears as he watched the beautiful curve of her naked back, he felt a ripple of pleasure at thinking no one but him had seen her this way before, that no one was going to get the pleasure of seeing her trembling in delight.

“Tell me Sansa”

“I love you” She babbled almost incoherently, at that point she would have told him almost anything he wanted to her in exchange for the explosion that was waiting for her.

“More than you did him” The force of his hands on her hips was almost painful but she did mind, she wanted to feel all of him “I do” She confessed, knowing there was nothing but true in her words, because no one before had made her feel the way her husband did.

Jon pulled out of her abruptly, making her cry out for the need of him, he turned around so she was now facing him and lifted her by the rear so he could now enter her from a different angle “He can’t have you, he’ll never have you” Sansa gasped in pleasure before his mouth went to hers, their tongues dancing with the other as their bodies matted “I won’t ever let you go away my dear, never”

“Oh Jon”

“What do you want?” He asked as he thrusted into her almost painfully and she clung to him with equal fervor, her eyelids filling with tears as the feel of the explosion brewing inside her.

“More” She cried out

More, she wanted more of him, always.

She wanted to be his only, for him to never let her go.

And she would do whatever it took to make it possible.


End file.
